His Songbird

chapter 9

I awoke around 5am in the morning, it was still dark out but you could see little hints that the sunrise was coming. A small noise pulled your eyes away from the window and over to the other couch, Bucky was asleep and lightly snoring but peaceful. His hair covered his eyes and seemed to tickle his nose a bit which made him groan a little, you got up and gently wiped his hair off his face. You smiled as a sort of happy expression came across his sleeping face. You began to walk away when you felt a hand on your wrist, turning you saw Bucky looking up at you with a small smile on his face,

"Morning doll" he said softly.

"Morning Buck"

Bucky's smile faded and you tried to figure out why but that's when you noticed his gaze on your wrists. You quickly pulled your hand away and hid it behind your back, his face was a mixture of both anger and sadness.

"Zara what was that?"

"Nothing" you mumbled and started to back away.

Bucky stood and closed the distance between you both in a second and wrapped you into a hug, his hands making small circles on your back in a comforting gesture. You could feel tears building in your eyes.

"Its okay doll, im here, I got you" he whispered.

The dam in your mind that was holding back the tears crumbled away, you sobbed uncontrollably into his chest, every emotion and feeling you had held back for so long seemed to escape you in pained sobs. After crying for who knows how long you finally calmed down enough for Bucky to sit you down on the couch next to him, he didn't once break away from you which you were grateful for.

"Did Hydra do this to you? He asked gesturing to my wrists, I shook my head. His breath seemed to catch for a moment when he realized that I did this to yourself.

"Can we talk about it?" he asked. I sighed, I knew he wasn't going to drop it until I did, and to be honest I felt like if I could talk to anyone it would be him.

"When I was first rescued by dad and Nat I felt alone and out of place like I didn't belong. When I showed signs of how I was feeling it would upset them along with dad's wife and other kids so I stopped, I always put on a smile and said I was fine but inside I was..... broken and in pain. After a while I needed something to help release the pain, I found that replacing one pain with another helped so I started cutting." you looked up to see his eyes wide and full of sadness.

"Over the years no one ever asked me how I was or how I was feeling, they would talk to me and come to me when they were upset or needed to complain to someone about something and I would help them but in the end I always felt like they didn't really care for me. Its the same with the Avengers, I'm there for them, I listen, I help but not once did they show any real concern for me, that is until I meet you." I said looking into his eyes,

"You were the first person to ask me how I felt, if I was okay, even now you comfort me when I needed it and I can never thank you enough for that James."

I felt his arms tighten around me and he pulled me into his lap. His beautiful blue eyes stared into mine and I felt like the rest of the world faded away, he used his metal hand to wipe the tears from my cheeks but I could see the worry on his face about touching me with it. I leaned into his hand and lightly nuzzled it with my cheek, his face relaxed when he could tell I didn't hate his hand.

"Zee im so sorry you have felt like this for so long, if I had known you back then I would of done anything to help you but all I can do is help you now. If you ever need to talk or just need someone to comfort you please come to me, ill be there for you always." he said looking into my eyes.

I nodded and he let out a deep breath I hadn't noticed he had been holding. His thumb caressed my cheek as our eyes meet again and we slowly started to lean into each other. Our faces were inches apart when a sudden knock at the door startled us, we quickly moved away from each other and Bucky looked out the window.

"Its Nat and Steve" he said and went to unlock the door. I grabbed his hand before he opened it.

"Bucky please don't tell them what I said or about the scars" I begged him. He looked unsure but nodded and agreed.

"I need to find something to cover my arms" I said to him. We didn't have any clothing that could help cover me and I started to panic, he must of seen me panicking when an idea popped into his head.

"Zee shift into your cheetah form and stay that way till we reach the compound then you can change in your room" he whispered.

I nodded and shifted. I instantly felt better knowing I was covered just not by clothes. Bucky opened the door and Nat and Steve entered, wiping the snow off themselves. They started to talk to Bucky and had yet to notice me there, as usual I felt left out and invisible. I left them to talk and made my way over to the couch, I jumped up and laid there staring out the window, lost in my own thoughts. The couch dipped behind me and I felt Bucky petting my fur, I felt nice to receive some attention from him. I looked over to him and I could see it on his face that he knew I felt left out, I turned around and placed my head on his lap and he began to pet my head in a comforting gesture. Steve and Nat sat on the other couch and watched our interaction with curiosity.

"So Zara why are you in your cheetah form?" Asked Steve.

I looked up at Bucky who gave me a nodded to say he would handle it.

"Its to keep her warm, I don't have any clothes here for her and she couldn't stay in the Hydra clothes she had, she would've froze to death." he explained. They nodded their understanding.

"We should head back, everyone is waiting" Nat spoke up.

Bucky got up and grabbed his duffle bag he had with him and we all made our way to the jet outside. As the jet took off I started to wonder why dad wasn't with Nat and Steve, maybe he was on a mission or checking another Hydra base when Bucky found me, I made a mental note to ask later.