September 16~2017
I pop my gum loud as hell while I scroll through all these likes. Me and my best friend Denaisha had posted a "Rate??" on Facebook. That shit had gotten 50 likes in about 15 minutes.
"We gotta start doing these. The likes are building up." I sit down on the floor as Dede does the same.
"Hopefully they fine as fuck so I can get some dick. It's been awhile and I'm ready to get some more. Like I dead ass need some more." Dede says and I laugh.
This bitch was always worried about some damn dick. I mean I can't blame her though. I haven't had any since July and I was kind of craving it. Shit we are young with me being 19 and Dede being 20. Who cares if she wanted some quick dick. As long as she wore a condom she can do whatever.
"Alright let's start with him. He looks like he's about a 7." I said while showing her some light skin niggas picture. She licked her lips and I knew her ass was about to give him a ten.
Light skins was Dede's weakness. Meanwhile I preferred my men dark. The darker the berry , the sweeter the juice! Period.
"Bitch you're such a fucking hater! That man right there is a 10."
I click on messenger and send him a "rate:7 from me and a rate:10 from Dede." I click the next guy and he was just my type.
Real tall, fluffy and dark skin. His smile was very pretty and he had some cute dimples to match. He dressed regular but his face was fine enough. He ain't need all that fancy shit.
The fancy shit never excited me. I dated a guy that sold drugs. It wasn't something that turned me on. But I wasn't the type to knock anyone's hustle. I did encourage him to go to school and work a regular job but he liked the fast cash. I ain't no niggas mother so I ain't going to tell him what to do.
"You can lead a horse to the water but you can't make them drink it. " Thats the realest shit my mom has ever said.
Dede snatches the phone out of my hand. "He's a 8.5 that's it." I nod my head and send him the rates. We do a couple more and we come across a kid that looks familiar.
"Girl do you know him? He looks familiar as fuck?" I ask showing her the boy. He was cute, with a round baby face, fluffy and dressed nice. In every pictures he has as standing in front of a Mercedes truck with different pairs of Jays on his feet.
"Nah, I don't know him. But damn if that's his car he got money! I'll give him a seven though." She replied and I agreed. He was more than a 7 to me but seeing him in front of that expensive ass car and the sneakers even all the way to the poses. He was flexing his watch and shit looking very materialistic. I ain't here to boost no niggas ego so I'm giving him a 7.
Maybe that'll humble his ass. We do a couple more and stop. I delete the post because it got all the way to 75 likes and I was not doing all those damn rates.
I get up off the bathroom and Dede calles Tyrone. He was a guy she occasionally fucked and he occasionally fucked her and his girlfriend. Yeah a whole girlfriend.
That's another story I will explain later. I walk down her hallway and head into the bathroom. The minute I close the door I admire my body.
"Damn I got to lose some weight." I turn to the side looking at my stomach. My body definitely changed since middle school. Those B cup boobs I had turned into a damn triple D. I finally got taller and stood at 5'3 maybe 5'4. I had huge boobs , some stomach and a nice booty. It went together but I just wanted to lose a bit more. This was the heaviest I've been.
It bothered me. On the low though. I would never tell anyone what I felt deep down inside. No one deserved to hear about my insecurities or my weird thoughts. I usually keep it to myself or write it in my diary.
I pull my Adidas sweatpants down and sit on the toilet. I scroll on my phone and look onto Snapchat. I got 200 views on my selfie I took earlier with lots of messages . I pee and wipe myself.
Washing my hands my phone gets a notification. It's from Black. The dating app that everyone is on. It's pretty cool. It's supposed to be for Black people and right now I been chatting with this guy named Aaron. He was real cute.
He messaged me saying "hey , you ain't text me all day."
I rolled my eyes. After my on and off four year relationship with my first love Gerrod, I hate men. He was so mean to me.
I literally am all set with guys at the moment. I just want to have fun. Gerrod was the last guy I had sex with in July. We had broke up in 2018 but we continued to fuck and play the "I miss you game". Meanwhile I didn't know he was messing with other bitches. He was a real dog and I let him walk all over me. Young and stupid.
But I'm learning. And you see Aaron is a nice guy but I just don't like how he acts as if he is my man. We never met in person and he still clings to me. I told him I don't want a relationship and he never listens. He claims I'm going to be his and shit but I ignore it. I don't think of him that way. Simple.
I dry my hands and request my Uber. I walk out the bathroom and I hear Dede on the phone with Tyrone.
"So you gonna slide through tonight so I can do that shit you like ?" I roll my eyes.
My phone buzzes indicating my Uber is 5 minutes away. I walk back into the living room and slide on my all black vans.
"I'm leaving." I said. She nodded her head too busy flirting with the another woman's man. He is 25 and got two babies. That he didn't claim at first when he started talking to Dede. Any nigga that will deny his kids over pussy is one grimey ass individual.
I grab my black bag, my phone charger and my bottle of water. "Bye bitch." I said and she waves. I walk out the door and head outside.
On que, the red Toyota Corolla pulls up in the driveway. I slide in the backseat.
"Hello. " I say awkwardly. I dead ass hate talking to people. Like that shit really fucks with me. I don't like how my voice sounds since I'm always told it doesn't match how I look. Or I sound too white or like a little kid.
I put my headphones in my air and play Still by Tamia. I love my some old school music. I can sing all throwbacks from The stylistics to Musiq soulchild. Don't get me wrong I love rap too. I like that hood shit. But it's the slow jams that get me going.
The ride seems like forever and I pull up to my apartment. I see my moms car and I know she's sleeping. It's 11:30 pm and she usually falls asleep at 9. It's a Thursday so I know my siblings are sleep too.
"Thank you." I say to the driver as I get out of the car. I look in the backseat to make sure I don't forget anything and close the door. I'm so exhausted. I got work tomorrow so I should take my ass to sleep.
