The Situation

ONE

Summer break is finally over, thank goodness. Most people my age is upset that summer break is almost over, not me. All the warm summer sun and rolling green hills to party on and drink until they can't stay awake is not the crowd that I fit in with. I'm usually ready for the high school/college people to go back to school so I can pick up more shifts at the restaurant, but this time around I am bursting at the seams because I get to leave this shitty place and never come back. I finally get out of the house and away from everything, the dream of leaving is what keeps me going and breaks my heart at the same time. It's the definition of bittersweet.

I graduated high school with my associates because it was so much cheaper to take extra classes in high school; stressful as hell, but cheaper. I'm not the smartest girl in town, but I'm stubborn as they come and that pushed me to get that degree in high school. My best friend, Cole, and I got into a college a few hours away. He's been taking online classes for the past two years while I've been working full time so it's time we both leave here. I haven't told anyone, other than Cole, about leaving. I'm thinking that I should just pack up my scarce amount of belongings and get the hell out of dodge, but I need a proper goodbye to my brothers. The less my brothers and mom know the better off we'll all be.

I have a decent amount of money from working my ass off and most of it will be wasted on more schooling...yay. I've been adulting since I was 13, paying bills, my "portion of groceries" even though I barely eat compared to how much I pay for, even paying rent for my room at mama and his house. I'm ready to start my life over, no more being at the house, no more shitty and unfair bills, no more side jobs and hustles and no more him. I won't have to worry about hiding money, worrying where I sleep, cleaning up after people, worrying if I did something wrong, no more walking on eggshells.

One of my first 'jobs' was stealing alcohol from parties and placing it in my backpack then rushing to the front entry of the same party to sell the various alcoholic beverages to the high schoolers who were already too drunk to notice I sold them beer ten minutes ago. Clever I know, only downhill of my plan was when I got caught. It doesn't matter if I'm a girl, a man will still swing at anyone who messes with their alcohol. But what's a few more bruises? It has happened a few times, most of the time I was fast enough to get away or trick them into thinking I was leaving, they couldn't tell up from down at this point. It is amazing how some intoxicated men can accurately land a solid punch in my face though. I had to come up with a plan when this happened, after my learning curve I realized to milk it and act like you're really hurt. After a couple blows to the face and stomach, I would stay still on the cold grass for a while until I felt like some people were around to help. Sad to say, but rather true, no guy could see a little 13-year-old girl beaten on the ground and not try to 'help'. Some of the guys and girls were really nice, others would say hateful things that no one child needs to hear. They were so drunk most nights I took their wallets and grabbed money. I felt bad the first couple of times, but I needed that money. I knew the consequences of I couldn't pay up.

These hills were located behind a dense patch of trees on the country club property. These were all rich, mostly snobby kids blowing daddy's money. Trust fund babies. They had never worked a day in their life, and that was perfectly fine with me. What was not okay to me was how ungrateful they are for a great life they had. At least that's what I told myself to make me feel better.

That job was only good for a couple years, instead of the guys just saying what they'd do to me, they would start grabbing me. The farthest it went was when a man put his hands down my pants and shoved me into the wall, making me hit my head on the brick wall of the county club's security wall that went around the perimeter of the property. I remember telling him no and to stop multiple times, he never did.

They never do.

I never made any friends here, for obvious reasons. I was helpless and alone, I wish I fought back in the past, so I could escape his harsh hold on my neck and hip. He was grabbing me so hard on my hips I could already feel a bruise forming. He grunted as he aggressively whispered nasty things in my ear. His lips touched the shell of my ear, then started going lower, very slowly. Instead of the sweet kisses and gentle touches that you'd read about, he was bitting and sloppily slobbering on my neck.