The Situation

FIVE

This week has been all about adjusting and setting into my new and improved life. The apartment was easy to adjust to, it was the traffic and noise that was a learning experience. In the boonies you can say we don't get much traffic passing the house, and if we did, we couldn't hear it with the long driveway. I have kind of made a routine, not a healthy one, still a routine though. I sleep for a couple of hours only to wake up in a puddle of sweat from a nightmare, go to the gym until I feel better, which can last for hours. I get a small breakfast at Ms. Stella's place, who has taken interest in me. We sit at the same table and talk until the eight o'clock rush comes in for coffee, then sneak back into the apartment to shower and pick up the room.

Sometimes after a panic attack or a bad nightmare, the only way I get through it is by messing up my organized room. Libby gets in super late, so far, she has yet to walk in on me going psycho. After everything is back in its place, I walk over to Cole's dorm and hang out with him and Niall for a while. Niall doesn't mind that I pop in randomly, he's an easy-going type of person and we all get along good. Then go back to the apartment to find Libby just waking up to start her day.

Libby is definitely a party girl, she goes out almost every night unless she's working, she only works 3 days a week. She dresses the part of a wild college girl and has a good time. It doesn't bother me at all, as long as she's safe and having a good time. She has been begging nonstop about me going to a party with her since the day I moved in. I kept telling her it's not really my scene, but she wants me to experience a frat party.

She doesn't know I have been to countless parties as a job. I felt guilty for telling her no each time, so I finally caved and said I would go as long as Cole joined. She jumped up and down with a squeal then proceeded to tackle me in a hug. I flinched hard and tensed every muscle in my body, my hands going stiff by my side. I squeezed my eyes shut and tucked my head into my neck waiting for the punch to land.

She let go of me and shot me a hurt and confused look, I was so ashamed of my instincts and embarrassed on how I acted. With my face a red hue, I stuttered out that I had a germ problem. I could tell she didn't believe my lie, but I was so caught off guard I made up a dumb lie. She didn't question me about it, just nodded and told me to get ready for the party.

I get in the room and head straight to the window to open it all the way. I grab a joint and my lighter. I need to be relaxed a bit before this night even starts.

After I'm finished I pop a gummy for good measures.

So that is what I'm currently doing now, I put on my favorite pair of skinny jeans that makes my ass look better than it really is. I have my old The Fray tee shirt on, well it was Cole's when we were younger but it's too small for him now, paired with my old converse. I walk out of my room to see a frowning Libby, before I had the chance to speak, she cuts me off with a hard "no way in hell" look and gives me a stern no by my outfit.

"This is the first actual party of the school year, I'm not letting you wear that, you will wear one of my shirts." She tells me in a warning tone not to fight her on this.

She dashes into her room; I slowly follow after her. She's throwing clothes on the bed and clashing hangers until she finds the one she wants. She's wearing short shorts that end right under her butt cheek and a bra looking crop top with some heels. She can pull the outfit off with her skinny figure, I have more of a lean and curvier body type especially in the hip and chest area. I just hope she doesn't dress me in something I can't pull off.

Her voice pulls me out of my thoughts, "Go try this one on." She throws a shirt at me and pushes me towards the bathroom.

I hold the fabric out in front of me, it's a sleeveless crop top that has some lace at the bottoms. I quickly take off my comfortable shirt and put this tight piece of fabric on. The arm holes are larger than normal showing more of my tattoos, I don't know if I like that or not. My tattoos are for me, not to be seen by strangers. I'm not so sure about this.