The Situation

TWO

****Trigger warning sexual abuse and self harm ***

"Mama, I'm home!" I yell in a sing-song voice when I walk in the front door, walking towards the living room.

Our house is the average country house but sadly it has a small basement. The house is an open concept, so you can see the living room and kitchen when you walk in. There are pastel yellow walls with a rustic décor feel to it. The little hallway on the right side of the house has two bedrooms and a bathroom in between. On the opposite side of the house is my parent's bedroom, mama and her husband. He and mom had two children a couple years after me getting married. These two boys are the only reason I'm still living, if I'm being honest. Shawn is 11 and he's starting middle school, and Conner is 5 and will be heading to preschool. Shawn is my sweet boy; Conner is a mama's boy.

My biological father is in the military, so I rarely get to see him, but we talk and text on the phone every now and then. Every now and then is only on Christmas and Easter. I think he does it because he feels obligated to check in. He has a new family too; I have some half siblings who are younger than me, but I don't know how many or their gender and names.

"Ariabella, in the kitchen!" She replies. I stop in my tracks and take a deep breath; she only calls me that when 'dad' is home. I debate going straight to my room or just walking out the door and coming back later. That's until I hear his footsteps walking in my direction.

Shit.

"Whoa, Squirt, where ya goin'?" He says with amusement in his hard eyes. I hate that name; it takes everything in me not to cringe.

"...To my room?" I say more as a question than a statement.

"We need to talk to you, follow me." Oh shit. I don't know what I did wrong this time. I just nod and follow him. We all sit down at the kitchen table in silence, waiting for 'dad' to speak. I take in how he looks. He used to be so handsome and nice, I guess alcohol changes that. He is bald and freshly shaven, with dark hateful brown eyes. His nose is a bit crooked; you can't tell unless you look very closely. His wrinkles have gotten deeper and have multiplied over the years. He's wearing work slacks and white bottom down shirt that's not tucked in as his beer belly sticks out too much. It looks like he just got home, he only comes home for a week every couple of months.

            The conversation, well lecture is going to end horribly, I can feel the nauseating pit in my stomach, and it will all be over me paying more rent probably because he gambled all of his money away again.

And it was about money. When is it not?

Then I fucked up, I mumbled something about how I was leaving anyways.

"You were planning to leave, and not tell me? I came home early to surprise you and your mother, and you tell me you're already leaving?! How dare you!" He screams. 0 to 100 in less than three seconds. I'm fucked.

He looks down to mom, but she's staring at the floor, "Did you know? " When she doesn't answer he yells again, "I said, did you know?!" Then he started walking over to mom and started shouting over her.

He goes to grab her, but I jump in front of her. She lets him do whatever he wants out of fear. I can take the blows better than she can, she is my mom but gosh damn I want to be angry at her for allowing this to go on for so long.

"No, she didn't know. I was gonna tell you both, but I have been busy with work." I try to say sternly while I maintain eye contact with him. "You want me to move out or pay more rent, I'm h-helping y'all out, Sal " I manage to calmly explain to him.

He starts grinding his teeth, his face is starting to turn red, while my face starts to pale. I know this look, he's beyond mad. I'd rather him get mad at me than mom though. I didn't tell him my plans, this is my fault, not hers, so there is no need for her to get punished as well. I should have just kept my mouth shut and kept to my original plan of not telling him and just run away. That's all I'm good for anyways. I start taking small steps backwards hoping I can get to the front door, any door.