The Situation

FIFTEEN

One of the big fights is happening in a couple hours, the boxers are coming in from a different state and are known to dominate the ring. I'm more excited to be in the ring than normal, Cole said he might be coming, and I haven't been to the gym in three days, so I'm getting pretty antsy.

Violence in general can make me feel terrified, helpless, and worthless when I'm not in control of the violence or who is being violent towards me. In the ring, there is always control, whether I fight like shit or on my A game, I always have options to get out of that situation.

I get to be in control with my body and how far the abuse can go in the ring. Violence in the ring can be soothing and a little therapeutic for me. Yes, I can get hurt, yes other people touch me, but I have the option of fighting back with no repercussions or consequences; and frankly, I'm decent at it.

After I took Katie back to her house, I quickly changed into our 'sports shirt' we have to wear when we get warmed up before a fight... A warmup shirt, I guess.

The men take off their warmup shirts, only fighting in shorts and the women can either wear shorts and a sports bra or these spandex underwear looking getup, which I refuse to wear; they wouldn't cover the marks. I get to wear a loose and longer pair of shorts with a sports bra.

I have this full coverage foundation that covers a lot of scars on my body if the tattoos aren't covering them. There are still some scars left showing, but there's ones that I can fib to say that I was on my shit and make a story out of it. A good story, not the truth.

We don't wear headsets or boxing gloves either, which I am so thankful for. The only equipment I need is my body and a mouth guard. I thrive off of the raw and bruised knuckles during a fight. It's part of my adrenaline addiction I guess.

It takes fifteen minutes on foot to get to the smaller stadium/gym where this fight is going to take place. Since it's against two rival teams who are both great at what they do, I need to be there before the crowd.

I have my gym bag on my back and jog to the stadium early for extra practice and for a warmup. It's an easy mile in a half jog, the only thing making it tiring is the hot sun and humidity. I swear a cactus could whither away in this heat.

I swipe my university ID card to get in and walk to the locker room that's assigned for our school. Jade and I are the only females on the team, and we have to change in the locker room, something about not having enough resources to accommodate two girls is what we were told.

I only put my bag in there and change in a stall, so it doesn't really matter. I usually don't stay and hang out back there like the guys do after it's over, most likely busy talking to Jade's uncle Jeffrey, who can be an annoying little asshole at times.

The set-up people are usually here when I get here, they allow me to practice on the machines on the far wall, opposite from where the crowd sits on the tall stacked bleachers around 3/ 4's the ring in the middle. I can easily see the bleachers and concession stand from where I'm working out and know when people start trickling in.

I'm warm and loose from the short run here, so I start off at the different weight machines and stretch, then get to the speed bag. I don't use a lot of weights before a match, I don't want to be tired, just have my muscles tight and ready to go. I can bench press over 150lbs but I use 50 today.

I work on my core and legs and stretch it all out again and finish up with jump roping off to the side, so not many people can see me. I get shy when I jump around people, my body jiggles, and I know that's normal but having the giant balls of fat attached to my chest jiggles too much.

Most of the other boxers want to use the speed bag right before it's their fight, but I like to rest a little before my match, before the adrenaline rush kicks in. An adrenaline rush is powerful and addicting, I can't get enough of it.