hellbound; cory | ACKLEY BRIDGE

BOYFRIEND, BELLEND, BROTHER

┍━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━┑
you live in my dream state
relocate my fantasy
┕━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━┙

they say there's five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

i reckon i've steadily made my way through, up until that depression one. don't think i've ever really given myself time to be sad. drugs and alcohol kind of stop the thoughts from occurring.

seeing his face today just brought it all flooding back.

"are you alright, cece? you've been acting quiet all day?" nas' friendly voice woke me up as we stood in the toilets, missy busy washing her hands as i lent against the door of a toilet.

"yeah, fine...fine."

"you know you can talk to me?"

"this is dead weird, ya know," missy said, shaking her hands of the water. "you two bein all bezzy mates. could've sworn you hated each other."

"i never!" i replied defensively, standing up properly now and folding my arms across my chest.

"well," nas said sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. "i always thought you were a bit of a tosser, to be honest. all daddy's money an a big mouth."

"your observations weren't exactly wrong," i snorted, "yeah. thought you were a prick too. proper quiet."

"alright, just cause some of us know how to put a lid on it," she joked.

"yeah, yeah, alright. more important things to discuss," missy said, all gossipy.

"enlighten me?" i replied, feeling my self properly start to ease out of being all tense. i'd deal with that later, talk to my bloody therapist about it or summat, but i couldn't let it consume me now. i'd already spent half the day drowning in my own self pity.

"well, naveed haider, of course!"

"ahh," i replied. "the new kid? what, one of yous fancy him? must say, he's not ya usual type, miss."

a thick silence settled between us, and i looked at the girls with my eyebrows drawn. "alright, no need to get your knickers twisted, i get it. neither of ya like him, god."

missy looked like she were about to burst, the way she were staring at nas and bouncing on the balls of her feet. "can i tell her? can i tell her, please?"

"what our dear friend here is trying to say, cece, is that i'm a big fat lezza."

"huh?"

"i'm gay, cece."

"oh. cool. what's this got to do with naveed?"

"wait! you cant tell anyone! i know it's like a super big deal and you're probably gonna look at me different from now on and i know it's kind of a big secret to be hiding and you probably think i'm disgusting—"

"you daft cow, can ya hear yourself? actually, can you hear me? i don't care, nas, you don't choose who you love. don't make you any different to me. i like tall, dark haired, sarcastic, funny, athletic, amazing, kind, sweet boys like cory, and you like girls. same thing really, int it?"