Pull Me Closer || Aaron Hotchner

The Middle Of Starting Over

TW: Swearing, violence, child abuse, drugs, blah blah same old shit lol

AN most chapter names will be song titles, the next few chapter names are irrelevant to the chapter just songs I don't hate

Divorced Hotch was different. While he smiled less and always seemed to be thinking about something else he was gentler with you, kinder, and more open. Not that he talked about what was going on with anyone other than Dave, but you all saw him get served the papers. You couldn't help but notice his eyes instantly met yours at the moment. It started with the coffees, a simple gesture that kept you going most days. After a few extremely hard cases he took half your paperwork, something he didn't think you had noticed. It was little things he did that made you melt.

Of course, you liked Hotch, how could you not. He was there for you, always making sure you were okay. You'd always found him attractive but after Jason left things shifted. You saw him in a different light. It wasn't love per se but it was something.

"Y/N, we have a case" and God when he says your first name. You nod at him and follow him to the conference room, sitting in between Derek and Emily. "Hey mama glad you could join us." Derek teases. "Sorry I just try to avoid you as much as possible muscle man." you push back. Emily snorts next to you, unable to hide the amusement in her face. "The case Garcia." Hotch lets out in his classic unit chief voice. "Right alright crime fighters this one... it's a mess. In Oatcreek Colorado two women have been found dead in wedding dresses, laying publicly in sites owned by the Catholic church." You all look over the file, you frown ready to ask a question but Hotch beats you to it. "Garcia, were they decapitated?" She nods looking away from the television upfront. "I was thinking the same thing actually, but I don't think it's the cause of death." you let out. Everyone turns to you shocked, Rossi being the one to speak. "Why do you say that?"
"I mean look at them, dress in pristine condition, no dirt or signs of being moved anywhere on the body. Hair and makeup are done, the gloves are on neatly, and there's absolutely no blood, not even a stain. The only sign of a struggle is the bruising behind the ear. It's an injection sight." you explain knowing they all think you're full of shit, "Garcia can you have the ME run an additional drug test, I want to know what drug was used." She smiles at you, "Of course my sweet genius." That gets Spencer's attention "Hey!" The team laughs, well everyone but Hotch.
"Wheels up in 20. Y/N a word in my office." You nod following Hotch to his office. "Is this going to be triggering for you?" he asks. Just get straight to the point then, "No, I'll be fine. Thank you for worrying. And for the coffees." He smiles but quickly hides it, "I don't know what you mean."
You roll your eyes, of course, he's denying it, "Mhm, I'll see you on the jet Hotch."

"Will this trigger you?" The answer was yes. Your dad was a real treat growing up, always beating you and your mom. You once had both ribcages cave in from the abuse. Your mom wasn't a gold medal parent either, but she wasn't him. When it got really bad he started to drug your mom, injecting whatever he had in her arm. It was like watching him murder for 12 years but no one ever died, which somehow was worse. When he finally left you were going into middle school, determined to change your life and put assholes like him away.

And then there was Spencer's drug problem, you saw it before anyone else. It hurt you in ways you didn't know you could hurt. You felt like you were watching your mom get drugged all over again. When he got sober he told you it was because of your pain.

"Prentiss, you and Morgan go to the latest crime scene. See if anyone saw anything. Rossi you and Y/L/N go to the ME, Reid you and JJ are with me at the precinct." Hotch orders. "Rossi I think we should have Pen on speed dial, I've got a feeling we'll need her." you say to him. He simply nods. "Y/N did you become Spencer or some shit?" Derek nudges you. "If I'm Reid does that mean you'll sleep with me?" you retort. Emily and JJ laugh at Spencer's embarrassment. "I'm not sleeping with Reid. Or you for that matter." Derek pushes back. "I mean you probably are in your dreams." you smirk. "Children!" Rossi looks absolutely disgusted. "Careful or you'll get grounded." JJ jokes. You look up to see Hotch smiling at the interaction, the sight makes you warm.

You and Rossi walk into the ME, ready to dial Garcia if needed. "SSA David Rossi, this is SSA Y/N Y/L/N." he introduces you both. "Ah, the BAU I presume? Good thing you're here, your technical analyst called. Said you thought cod was a drug overdose. She also said the sexy one had the idea, that would be you I'm presuming" he says turning to you. You blush, "Uh yeah that would be me. The decapitation is a cover for it if I'm right. There isn't any bruising or blood stains for it to be the cause of death." You all walk towards the two bodies, "Well you are correct, the decapitation was postmortem. As for what drug killed them I can't give you a distinct answer. The injection site is behind the ear like your analyst said it would be. Whoever did this used a mixture of different drugs, nothing in our system." Rossi turns to you, " So the unsub is making drug cocktails. He's hiding the injection site and the overdose in general with the decapitation. We should call Hotch." You nod following him out of the room sending a quick thank you to the man behind you. You both load into the SUV before calling the team. "Hotch, the kid was right. Drug overdose covered by decapitation." you interrupt before Hotch can say anything. "Derek call Pen and have her look to see if the dresses were custom made. I think I know why this guy is killing them."

"Guys this unsub is killing them because they say no. He probably thinks they're in love with him. He saves the most violent act for after they're dead, then makes sure they're in pristine condition? He's in a delusion." you explain. "Kids right, the victims have no sign of any injury other than the obvious. The toxicology report says they had a mixture of paralysis drugs, they died peacefully." Rossi chips in. The team is silent for a second before Hotch dials Garcia, "PG who isn't PG how may I assist you?" You and Derek roll your eyes before he responds. "Babygirl did you find the source of the dresses?" You hear her tapping before she speaks, "Ah yes, they all came from a small local shop owned by one Chris Dunns, 29 and- oh that's not good. Uh, his fiance left him at the altar and died from a drug overdose 3 days later." Hotch stands abruptly, "That's our unsub."

The team caught the unsub before he had a chance to drug his latest victim, saving her life and arresting him. You all got on the jet fairly late so everyone was asleep, except you and Hotch. He brings you a coffee, just the way you like it, with a small smile sitting down across from you. "I thought you didn't bring me coffee." you say smugly. He just shrugs, "Thought you might need it. You did good on this case, you know." You smile knowing him complimenting you is rare. It wasn't that he didn't know you did good work, he did. You had been close with Elle and when she left it shattered you, so naturally you were cold to Hotch. And when Jason left it felt like you had no one. He saw you in pain, he didn't know how to help without doing something he would regret. For god sake, he was married until recently, but he was always attracted to you. You just didn't know that. "Thank you, he was simple though." you shrug. "Don't do that." he demands. You look up meeting his gaze, his eyes softer than usual. In the light of the jet he looked almost angelic, it made your heart skip a beat. You couldn't form any words so you simply nodded and sipped the coffee.

The team all decides drinking is a mandatory event after you land, Derek insisting you need to get drunk. You're all crowded into a booth at the bar, you in between Derek and Hotch. The alcohol runs through your veins as Derek leaves to flirt with the girls staring at the group. "Are we betting tonight?" Emily asks with a smirk. "Fuck yes, I want my money." you let out. Hotch chuckles beside you. "What do you say, boss man? You in?" you nudge him. He shakes his head and you roll your eyes, "Oh of course that would be too scandalous for you." Rossi slaps your hand, "Watch it, kid." The whole table laughs, JJ speaking up first. "Careful hun, you might lose TV privileges with that attitude." And the night carries on, laughter and joy in the air. Family.

A/N AH HI OKAY I HOPE YOU LIKED IT IT WAS LONGERISH. For reference the timeline of the story will be different, Hailey is going to die in a few chapters, it will be a few years before she does in the show. I t will all come together, these first few chapters are just setting a base for the characters and the story line <3