haikus

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to whoever still has this in the saved stories, hello again :)
it's been a long time since I've touched this app or this book. it's still my biggest pride and joy honestly. it's amazing to talk to someone about poetry and be able to tell them that I have a book on some silly app from my childhood with over 100,000 reads. it's still mind-blowing for me. I still cherish this and so appreciate the love everyone has given my work.
I poured my heart and soul into these haikus and they told my life story then. I was a very sad little girl when I started this, and some haikus reflect that. I still think back to them and how you can see the moments when I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I went through so many mentally straining moments at such a young age and this was my therapy. this was where I placed my thoughts on 'paper' and never expected them to go anywhere. but, they did. you all loved my sadness and happiness and anger and every other emotion. you all appreciated them and tagged your friends and commented how you related and I cannot explain the high that flourished through my body every time I checked my notifications
if there's anything I can ask those who still read this to take from these haikus and my experiences, it's that it truly does get better. everything gets easier. I have mental and physical scars from fighting for my life for many years and this may be the happiest I've ever been. I will be 23 this weekend and never thought I would get to this point. I thought I found the love of my life to settle down with, was engaged and so happy to exist in his presence, only for him to leave. I hold no angry feelings toward him because that was the best thing he could have ever done for me. I finally met myself, I finally found love in me. Things felt like they were crashing down around me and everyone expected me to fall apart, but I prevailed and learned to be alone. I begged for signs my entire life, asking if I had the strength to live past 18. I was probably sent billions of them, but I instead kept asking for them. I eventually gave up asking and powered through. I will never regret staying. I will never regret seeing myself reach this point of true happiness that the sweet girl in middle school never thought would come. The sweet soul who just wanted to be loved and cared for. She deserves this happy ending.
to all my readers, this is your sign if you need it. everything gets better. everything gets easier. I promise.
I adore you all. thank you for all the support, I cherish you all. I don't think there's any better way to end this book than with this chapter.