The Adventures Of John B : The Sacred Stone

Chapter 45 - Visions Of Grief..

EDDIE :

Misery is contagious in a world of miserable people.

That's what I used to think, that the feeling had to be inevitable.

But now lately I think I've brought it on myself.

They say, when in mourning, you're meant to cry.

But when shock has taken you over, you find yourself falling to your knees- your heart set aflame and even your eyes dead. Tears fall without your permission but it's not crying because- you don't feel it. You don't feel a thing.

All you know is you've lost an important part of yourself that will never be replaced, and you can't help but whimper in pain.

Emotional exhaustion is the most tiring experience, brought upon by the death of what is cherished most.  With it, something dies in you.

It's not the pain that worries me anymore though. 

It's the fact that I've become so used to the feeling.

Is this normal?

Am I normal?

Nothing seems right, but everything goes on as it's meant to.

The streets remain bustling, the sun never dims, the world revolves without hesitation.

Am I the only one lagging behind?

Sometimes I wish everyone could feel my pain. Other times I'm desperate to spare them from the affliction.

I'm not who I used to be, I'm not even sure if I knew who that boy was.

Is that a good thing?

Who knows.

But I need to finally say goodbye. Give rest to the words and emotions that have been awake for too long.

I need to accept.

I need to finally be able to say..

Farewell.

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Chaos.

That's the only way I can describe it, the only way it deserves to be described.

Everything is not what it seems to be.

Celeste drags herself towards the podium holding the stone we had come so far for and the only thing stopping me from stopping her is my brother.

 Lying broken on the floor, defeated physically in the bruises he has sustained and mentally in the battles even his dignity has lost.

I hesitate.  

And that hesitation makes all the difference in the world.

Yelling out to Celeste, I bolt down to grab Tommie.  

As I pick him up, I see the leader of Jolene's organization holding a fired gun.

The raw sound is delayed, almost as if it is out of place with the beauties of this cave- of the world.

Beauty can hide everything.  It is the curtain to the sad, tragic reality we face, the sorrow truth of our existence.

But I've come to see sometimes it is not enough, not when something is too ugly and vicious to contain.