"My life is a lie, a dark place," Alyssa Pearson said, looking up at the sky with a heavy sigh. The weight of her existence was suffocating her.
"You are in a safe place, Alyssa. This is your home, and your life is as real as you are." He reassured...
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Every second passed felt like I was in hell, paying for the sins that I committed.
Satan would use his extra powers to punish me - I'd have been his personal favourite to torture. He would find new ways to torment me, he would find his pleasure in my suffering.
It's been more than a week since all the mess that I created in my life. It's been more than a week since my running away from the problems in my life. It's been a week since Landon's discharge from the hospital. It's also been a week since Arthur running away that night. He never looked back, he didn't even contact me in these nine days and I'm losing my shit.
Nine days.
To ignoring my family, my friends, troubles, problems - my everything. It's been nine days since my running away from home. I've found my temporary shelter in Tania's house. She was worried about me but let me stay. I thought of asking for help from Patricia but the lady is old and I didn't want to bother her with my troubles. I've ignored school for nine days and stayed back at Tania's place. I used her laptop to fill out the forms of the colleges I'd like to apply to. The questions that they asked literally killed my soul.
Where do you see yourself in the next five years? What is one memory that defines YOU today? Who inspired you the most? Blah blah and shit.
I couldn't bring myself to answer the questions. Those questions hurt my head. My fingers trembled on the keyboard and I felt numb. I'm already behind in filling the college applications and these questions weren't helping me in any manner. I felt dumb for not knowing myself.
There was this particular question that occupied my mind for three days that I couldn't think of anything else.
What do you want from life?
Peace.
I couldn't write that - the admissions committee would consider me foolish for writing that. I couldn't even write Life - which was practically my first thought.
I need a life first, to even want something from life. The life that I'm living right now isn't mine - it is made up of lies and secrets, of the betrayal and deception that my close ones have given me. My life isn't even mine - I got it as a miracle by taking away someone else's life. I don't even deserve this life in the first place.
How do I explain all of this to the admissions committee?
Finally giving up the lifestyle of being trapped in the four walls of Tania's house, I decided to attend school today. She lend me some clothes. Even being five years older than me, her clothes fit me perfectly. Tania is an angel and must surely walk for Victoria's secret. I looked at myself in the mirror and shut my eyes.
