. 𝒊'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 .

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I feel like I'm dead.
The dead dead,
The corpse dead.
Feeling nothing, not even my own body.

Do people feel that often?
Not feeling anything?
Disconnected to the world, to yourself?
Like everything around you is suffocating you in a way that you know the air you need to breathe will suffocate you as well.

I feel I'm no longer here.
I'm somewhere else.
And that place isn't at peace as well.
Nothing is at peace, nobody is at calm.
Everywhere is chaos.
My mind is at havoc situation, my soul at disorder.

I want to rest, in peace metaphorically.
But I can't.
Even thinking about peace burns my soul.

I'm treated in a way that I know, I'm not supposed to be at ease, I'm supposed to suffer, I was made to feel this, to be an uneasy human.

I don't want to be human anymore.
I can't be one when I can't carry one along with me.
Being human is all about being an emotional fool.
I don't wanna be a fool anymore, I can't be.

Sighing, I placed the journal on the study table. Aurora at times is very hard to be understood. She has her way of expressing her feelings, she keeps everything to herself. The mention of suffocating herself is true in her case, she will indeed try to choke herself than to breathe any air of not wanted by her. She was always stubborn but straight. She knew what she needed and to get that, she exactly knew how to play her cards.

There was a knock at the door. My brother peeked inside and passed a smile, walking in the room. "Karen is preparing dinner. Dad will be home soon." He declared and took a seat next to me.

"Where have you been the whole day?" I asked. I didn't even see him this morning. He has been busy lately, helping dad with the work. "Had to attend a meeting with a Turkish Investor."

"Turkish?" I asked, surprised. "Why would he invest his money here?"

"Big guy, huge bank balance. He wanted to put his money in commercial business, did his research and approached us." He explained.

Ever since turning the age of maturity, Landon was interested in Business and Management and had a great opportunity to try his luck in our own business. He was always sure, he wanted to run the business ahead and dad was totally fine with it. Aurora on the other hand wanted to explore the world more, she was interested in the economic and political backgrounds of the world. Aurora and Landon have proved to be the best example of an ideal child. I'm yet to decide on my future, but the irony is, to prepare for my future, I need to understand back my past. That will be one hell of a task for me.

"Did I ever decide what I wanted to be when I grow up?" I asked him. He placed his phone aside, sending a message to someone and looked at me.

"You wanted to be everything. One life was not enough for you." He stated. "You used to say that life is unfair, how were you supposed to be everything in one life. You at least needed extra lives."

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