Ink / Draco Malfoy (18+)

"Muffled sobs and quiet whispers"

Content warning: this chapter contains scenes of emotional trauma and self-harm. Please read with caution!
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"Muffled sobs and quiet whispers"
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I often found myself walking away from people when I started needing them too much- and it was always a hard thing to do. But this time, this one time I told Draco I didn't care and left him behind right after- was the most painful thing I ever did to myself.

He saved me. He broke my heart into a million pieces, yet he was there when I needed him the most. And even though I loathed him for the way he treated me, I was more than thankful.

My legs were trembling as my spine rested against the headboard of my bed. The muscles on my face felt numb, my vision became blurry from staring into the empty wall next to me for too long- trying to figure it out.

To figure out how to deal with it alone- without asking for help.

My fingers slowly explored the bruised skin on my legs, filling my blank mind with painful memories all over again- it felt like drowning. My breaths started becoming shorter and quicker, the walls started moving as I squeezed my eyes in attempt to shut it all out.

But somewhere in the darkness behind the thin skin of my eyelids, it all crushed down on me- and I cried. I sobbed uncrontrollably into my hand- filling the empty room with muffled screams.

I cried for hours.

I buried my face in the soft fabric of my pillow, soaking it with the tears that left my eyes. My nails were digging into my flesh with too much force- leaving behind bloody scratches in attempt to erase his touch from my skin, but with no use.

He way still there.
He had left pieces of his violent soul on my skin and in my bones. And no matter how much I cried- I wouldn't be able to get him out.

Until after a moment of silence, I used all the strength I had left to get up and walk over to the bathroom. I took a look at myself in the mirror, and it was like someone else was staring back at me.

It was my body, the pale skin I called home- but my eyes held pain- in a way I had only seen his eyes holding it so far.

I put my hair up in a bun, and the second I stepped into the shower my whole body shivered from the cold surface unter my feet. I turned on the water, letting it run over my face, down to my collarbones until it reached the parts of my body that were longing for warmth the most.

The water turned hotter with each second, burning into my skin painfully, but I needed the warmth, I needed a different kind of pain- a pain I was able to control.

The skin on my chest and stomach turned bright red from the burning sensation, it felt like receiving a hug from the devil himself.

I showered for at least 15 minutes, until I couldn't take the heat anymore. I let out a quiet whimper from the towel brushing against my heated limbs, patting every inch of my burning skin.

I opened the door, the cold air in my room sent goosebumps down my back as I reached for my dresser. My hand grubbed for an oversized t-shirt I could wear to sleep,

until my fingers brushed against a certain kind of fabric- a kind that felt way too familiar.

I pulled out the green t-shirt and pressed my lips into a thin line, before putting it on. The soft frabric of it calmed my skin, and the minty scent it carried cleared my mind. For a short moment, right after I put the shirt on-

the pain was gone. And it felt like shelter.

And my heart ached, because even in his absence, Draco was the one who made me feel safe. He gave me comfort in a time I wasn't capable of comforting myself anymore.

And I started regretting, I regretted the way I pushed him away in a time I needed him so desperately. He would've been there for me. He cared about me- I knew he did. At least that's what I kept telling myself that night.

For the first time in years I didn't dare to turn off my light. With him, the darkness made sense. When his nose brushed against the skin on my neck, with his hands drawing tiny circles on my back, everything alway made sense. And even when there was nothing, when we were surrounded by darkness and silence- he was there.

But now he wasn't.

Some more tears left my tired eyes as I hugged myself tightly. My skin way still burning hot, but my toes were freezing. I wrapped my feet up in the blanket, tucking myself in.

I fell asleep whispering his name under my breath. And despite the fact that I knew he wouldn't hear it- I hoped that somehow he would be able to feel it.

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My spine rested heavily against the chair as all the voices filling the noisy classroom just blurred together. The sudden silence caught my attention as Professor Snape's voice echoed in front of me,

"Turn to page 342.",

I blinked slowly, still staring at the cover of my book I wasn't able to open- I simply missed the strength. My mind was completely blank, shutting out everything around me.

Until the wooden door opened with a loud creak, and my head snapped to the blonde-haired boy standing in the doorframe. His messy hair fell over his forehear, framing his pale face perfectly. But he didn't look as put together as he usually did,

he looked devastated.

"Mr. Malfoy-", Snape raised from his seat, lifting his chin in a satisfied way, "You are late to class."

Draco's lips parted as if he was about to say something, but as soon as his eyes met mine, he nodded his head slowly without a word leaving his lips.

"Detention Mr Malfoy.",

"Whatever.", he mumbled under his breath as he entered the classroom.

I couldn't tear my eyes off him as he marched over to my desk, slipping down on the chair right next to me.

He leaned back and a sigh escaped his lips, his wand twirling in his fingers the way it always did when he was concentrating.

My lips arched into a smile from the feeling of having him around. For the first time that day, I was able to release the tension in my shoulders, because as soon as he entered the room,
I felt peace.

Something deep within my soul knew that when he was right next to me, I was safe.

I rested my elbows on the table, cupping my cheeks with both hands as I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I still couldn't bring myself to start reading- I used all of my energy to stay awake.

Until I felt a cold touch against my arm, and I flinched from the sudden contact. I looked down and saw his bloody, ring-coated fingers reaching for my book to open it for me.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to touch you.", he mumbled as he pulled his hand away again, leaving my book opened on page 342.

I looked over to him, studying the way his chin rested in the palm of his hand so peacefully, yet so heavy- and I pressed my lips into a thin line in attempt to keep myself from smiling.

He knew I was struggling.

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Hello my loves!
First of all, thank you for over 10k reads!! That's absolutely amazing :)
The next chapter will be published by the end of this week, I love you all <3