Encounter

Vulnerability

"What?"
I looked up at him and pushed myself away from him. He shook his head and reached out to me. Somewhere in my heart, I felt that what I said was real. Or maybe I was just vulnerable, looking for some sort of reassurance. I had half a mind to repeat myself, but I didn't want to. Keyon pulled me into his arms, looking right into my eyes. He interlocked our fingers together as if this was the perfect ceremony moment. The fresh, night breeze ran through the back of my nape, making the tiny hairs stand up.
"I can't love you."
Just then, my heart felt shattered. It's like he took the time to break my heart before and then do it again, but worse. What you mean you can't love me? After all you did, you can't find it in your heart to comfort me? To be there just this once?
"I know..I know I hurt you. I regret it. But I can't love you. And now I'm tryna fix shi' with tha girl I cheated on you with 'cause I honestly love her. I wanna be with her. I shouldn't have put you in tha' cross fire..I'm sorry." Seemingly, his accent slipped a few times and now i realized that it only came out as thick as it used to be when he was drunk.

"Can we..can you just make love to me one more time? Like how we used to? Please, Keyon? Whatever you want me to do, I'll do anything for it—" I hated that I was like this. I hated that he got me so attached to him and so in love with him that I had to come begging for his time and love back. He clouded my mind obsessively and I couldn't scream any thought of him away.
" 'Lia..I miss holding you. I miss kissing you. I miss being around you and f*cking you. But I don't..I don't love you. I used you and as a result, I started falling out of love. I can't love you."
I snatched my hands away from him, and held my head at a gaze to his window. I looked at the window and then back to him.
"Her. You love her? The things you put me through and the time I wasted and the money I loss.. all for you to love some b!tch? And she knew about me too, that's what makes it worse, Keyon! Both y'all dead wrong.."

I walked back to my car to hear him call my name twice in the distance. I unlocked my door and got in before locking the doors back. You couldn't be too sure to leave anything unsecured in a neighborhood like this. Placing my seat belt on, I hung my head on the steering wheel. I don't know what is up with me. I don't understand why I'm so vulnerable without him. God answered my prayers by sending me the signs to leave, and now I'm ignoring them, intentionally wanting to go back.
"Whatever man..." I wiped my tears away and crunk my car up before pulling off, to leave him behind.

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Hello, guys. It's been a while, I know and I understand. Thank you for being so patient with me throughout this journey. I will try to update more. It has been a hectic new year of 2022 and I am learning and exploring more about myself as well as writing. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I apologize for it being so short.

✨Kia