Sana

Kabanata 12

Kabanata 12

Ignored

Is it okay to feel hurt and upset? 

I woke up with an uncomfortable body. Kahit wala akong ginawa kahapon ay nakaramdam parin ako ng pagod. Ewan ko ba. Maybe this is the outcome of my overwhelming emotions yesterday. I tried to stood up even if I felt really tired. Kailangan kong pumasok kahit ganito ako ka sabog. 

I took a quick shower and dress up my uniform. Pagkalapit ko sa hapag-kainan ay agad akong tinawanan ni Kuya kaya napatingin naman sina mommy at daddy sakin. 

"Anong mukha yan, Serang? Mas nakakatakot ka pa sa multo." he mocked and laughed at my face. 

I stared at him wretchedly, controlling myself not to inflate his mockery. Wala ako sa mood para patulan siya. Maya-maya lang ay biglang nagsalita si daddy. 

"Bunso… Don't tucker out yourself in studying. Anong oras ka na bang natapos sa pag-aaral mo kagabi?" nag-aalala niyang tanong sa akin. Si mommy naman ay ganun rin. 

Gusto ko tuloy matawa dahil sa mga reaksyon at sinabi nila. Pero kahit sa simpleng pag ngiti ay nakaramdam rin ako ng pagod. 

"Hindi ko po alam kung anong oras na ako nakatulog. Madami kasing dapat tapusin na mga aralin." I lied. 

They nodded and continue to eat. How silly. They immediately imputate my studies instead of Zanth. E, sino ba namang mag-aakalang siya yung naging dahilan ng mga eyebags ko? Ni isang beses nga hindi niya ako nasubukang paiyakin. Tears of joy siguro, oo. Pero yung iyak na nasasaktan ka talaga? He never tends to do that to me. Kahapon pa lang. It just happened to me yesterday to burst out in tears because of pain… And it's because of him. 

Nang natapos na akong kumain ay pumunta ulit ako sa kwarto. I looked at myself in the mirror. Tama nga si Kuya. I was very wasted. Mas nakakatakot pa yung mukha ko kesa sa multo. I get my make-up kits and put some light makeup over my face to cover up my haggard look. When my face looks much better, the next move that I did is to fix my wavy hair. I combed it and designed it into a bun. Ayos na. Nagmumukha ulit akong tao. 

I grabbed my bag at nagpahatid kay Kuya Torce papuntang University. When we arrived, he suddenly got underway to talk. 

"Serang… Kung hindi ka man okay, you are free to talk to me about your problems. Makikinig naman ako. Kapatid kita at handa kitang tulungan kung may problema ka man." he stated in a serious tone. 

Because of his confectionary words, my lips are slowly parted into a light smile. Kahit pala napaka mapang-asar niya ay nag-aalala parin pala siya sakin. 

"Uyyyyy ngumiti siya." natatawa niyang sambit.  

"Sino ba namang hindi? Wow ha… May natitira ka pa palang concern sakin?" I asked in an amused tone. 

He then laughed. "Siyempre joke lang iyon. Binobola lang naman kita dahil baka iudlot mo yung pagbili ng Calvin Klein shirt dahil sa pagkawala ng mood mo." 

Pinanliitan ko naman siya ng mga mata. "Manahimik ka. Hindi ko na yun bibilhin." naiinis kong sagot sa kaniya at lumabas na ng kotse. Kahit kailan talaga. I heard he's calling my name several times but I didn't waste my time turning to him. Bakit ba ako bininiyaan ng tarantadong kapatid? 

I went to our room. Pagkapasok ko roon ay agad kong tiningnan kung pumasok na ba si Zanth pero bigla na lamang akong nadismaya nang wala akong nakitang bakas galing sa kaniya maski anino man. Wala ako sa sariling napa-upo sa upuan ko. I heaved a deep breath and wish to occur his appearance all of a sudden. 

Maya-maya pa ay pumasok na si Prosecutor Kim para sa oral recitation ngayon sa Crim Law. Nakapaghanda naman ako. Kahit papaano ay nakapag-aral naman ako. Pagkatapos kong umiyak at nagdrama kagabi ay nag set ako ng alarm ng madaling araw para mag-aral. Hindi ko kailangang pumalya sa klase. 

Prosecutor Kim took a glance at us and stopped by at Zanth's chair. "Absent parin ba si Mr. Monzimvino---" he didn't finish his words when the door suddenly opened. Nakita ko naman ang pagkabigla ng professor namin. "Oh… Here he comes! Good morning Mr. Monzimvino, may I know your reasons why you are absent yesterday and why are you late today?" istriktong tanong niya. 

Para naman akong nabingi sa narinig ko. Si Zanth? As in si Zanth? Hindi ako nagdadalawang isip na lingonin siya. My heart is throbbing so fast to its cage. 

"L-Loves…" I whispered as I tried my tears not to fall.

Dahil doon ay napalingon naman si Zanth sa gawi ko. Pero parang may nagbago. He didn't smile and he stared at my eyes exceedingly cold.  I smiled but he looked away from our eye contact. For a moment, I abruptly felt my heart broke into pieces. I want him to hug and ask him if what's the matter.

Bigla namang nagsalita si Prosecutor Kim. "If you are not planning to answer my questions, then you cannot sit unless you can untangle my first question in your oral recitation today. Alam na nilang mag paparecit ako ngayon tungkol sa itinuro ko sa kanila kahapon. Be ready!" he rigorously indicated. 

Napatingin na naman ako sa kaniya. Hindi naman siya kumibo at walang reaksiyon ang mukha niya. 

"Mr. Monzimvino, distinguish between felonies, misdemeanors, capital felonies, gross and petty misdemeanors, and violations." Prosecutor Kim calmly affirmed. 

Tahimik lang kaming lahat at hinihintay si Zanth na sasagot. Before he answers our eyes met but he blankly stared at me. 

He cleared his throat and started to speak. "The criminal law distinguishes between felonies and misdemeanors. A crime punishable by death or by imprisonment for more than one year is a felony. Other offenses are misdemeanors. Offenses are further divided into capital and other grades of felonies and gross and petty misdemeanors. The third level of offenses is violations or infractions acts that are punishable by fines." he retorted smoothly and factually. 

Lahat sila ay nagulat dahil nakasagot si Zanth kahit lumiban naman ito ng klase kahapon. Even our professor proudly claps his hands. Pero hindi na ako nagulat pa. He's Zanth, the man who has brain and beauty. Pinaupo narin siya kalaunan. I kept scrutinizing him. Hindi ko inalis ang mga tingin ko sa kaniya hanggang sa natapos ang klase. 

Little by little, I unconsciously walked towards him. Kahit anong iwas at pag-ignora niya ay sa kaniya parin ang bagsak ko. Wala e... Mahal na mahal ko siya. 

"H-Hey..." I said pushing to the limit not to crack my voice. Lumingon naman siya sa akin. "Loves... May problema ba? Bakit hindi ka nagparamdam sa akin---" 

He immediately cut me off. "Seirra, not now. I'm tired and I need to cope up with all the discussions yesterday. Kaya huwag ka sanang gagambala sakin." malamig niyang sagot sa akin at tinalikuran ako.

By his words, my heart shattered into pieces. There was nothing more I could do but watch him walked away and it's killing me inside! Iyong wala na akong magawa kundi titigan nalang siya. Nawalan ako ng sigla na habulin siya. I stand like a statue and I felt being betrayed by him. 

From that day I was watching him go far away, my world fell apart.