The Resse love story (Rob Jetten x Jesse Klaver)

11

I woke up around noon. I already woke up a few times but didn't want to face my problems so I just went back to sleep. But it's way too late now and I guess I need to talk to both of them. I'm trying to decide if I should talk to Rob or Jolein first.

If I go to Rob first, Jolein would never forgive me. But I also don't know if she will even forgive me whatever I do. BUT I have to explain to Rob that it wasn't all a joke for me even though he thinks that. If I fuck up with Jolein right now then I did that for nothing. I'm not even sure if I want to go further with Jolein, I said all of that in a moment of panic. It also would have been kinda sad for her to just say I was not even caring that I cheated on her that moment. That wouldn't only be cruel but also embarrassing. I need to take just a little bit of time to think.

I regret it but I loved it. Or do I just regret getting caught. I'm a bad person, shit. Getting caught was flipping out my world and to be honest it was a bit too much for me. I mean, I don't wanna be a bad role model for my kids. I mean, after all I'm the guy they look up to. I'm supposed to be macho and doing that was definitely out of the norm. And to be honest at first I wasn't happy about what happened. After all, my wife caught me and I wasn't expecting it. And when it happened it was hard. It was hard to say the least. But it didn't mean I didn't like it. In fact I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it very much. It's just wrong. But did I enjoy it? Oh yes.

Jolein POV:

I've been awake all night. Not doing anything but thinking all the time. Even though I still have no good idea of what to do, burning his clothes maybe. It would be so dramatic but would definitely be interesting. Do I want to talk to him for an explanation? Yes. Is there a chance I would forgive him? Yes. Is that pathetic? Probably. Should I also be worrying about the kids? Of course. Am I going to do that? Not yet. Well a part is maybe a little bit stupid but letting him talk is just because I'm so nice.

I hear the doorbell ring. I know who that is.

I open the door quickly. Before he could say anything I dive in: 'I don't want any drama (I do) so please make this a little bit easy.' He nods and I let him in.

In the living room, I stop and turn around. I'm trying to look as natural as possible even though I have the urge to ball my eyes out. We don't say anything for a moment until I drop the question.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

'I invited my colleague over. We got lost in the moment and didn't expect her to come home. It was a bit embarrassing. I don't know. It was something we could have talked about before but it didn't happen.'

'How tf do you get lost in that moment because- just- how?'. The last words sounded more broken than I wanted them to be.

"Well, I got drunk.... and we got a bit close, I wasn't thinking," He responded in a begging voice.

"Why didn't you stop? You know you aren't supposed to- It's also weird you got drunk at that moment'.

"Yeah, I know. I just- I'm sorry," He said.

'Say your thoughts, let me understand.'

'I nearly went to bed with him.

What am I doing?

I love you, don't want to lose you.

We have kids together. If you leave, how is he supposed to deal with it?

I love you too much to leave you. You have always been there for me. Hard time with a job? You stay home with me.'

'You want to know what you are doing?' I say.

'Well yeah.'

'You are breaking my heart.'

'I'm sorry- that was not- I don't want that.'

'You say I love you, a thousand times in all different ways but you still did that. It doesn't make sense Jesse and it never will. There are some feelings you have for others so don't say it. You don't mean it. You can't'

'I don't have feelings for him! I'm not lying, I can, yes I can.' He stuttered.

'You told me we could've talked about it before....'

He gulps, he looks at me with slightly widened eyes, that fucki-.

'How long is this going on then, Jesse!?'

'No, it's not like that, it's that I saw him looking at me, it's not like I knew that for a long time, I didn't do the same, ever'.

I stared at him. No fucking idea what to say anymore. I got my answers I think. But now?

He begins again.

'You"re the love of my life, I can't leave, you're my future'

He stutters, again.

Jesse POV:

There I'm staying, trying to save my marriage. Why again?. No, I have to do this. You have kids, Jesse. She is the love of your life. Your future. Your only future. Do this for your kids, your whole family, Jesse. If you can't do it for yourself....

Can I do this for myself? Jesus chirst, I want to, so bad. If I try, I could make it work, right?.

I snap out of my thoughts.

'So you still love me?'

'Yes.'

'That thing with Rob won't happen again?'

'No!'

'Then..... then it's okay, you can stay.'

Hi🧍, I haven't been updating, I'm trying but I'm not really mentally stable.

Also my therapist is leaving right after I trusted her and told her everything so ISTG- lol

p.s. I don't really think people are gonna read this anymore because I haven't updated in so long but I wanna finish this story bcs ye I want tha