Thursday Morning...
Star's P.O.V
"Should I shoot you? Or you?"I say, moving the gun between my parents separate photos.
What can I...or should I shoot?
Nah...I'm not in the mood to shoot anything.
"Taking somebody's life is nothing compared to taking my own"I mumble
One...Two...
I can't do it. No...I have to. But I can't. Zach would say 'you have so much to live for'.
"Why would he say that when he's happily engaged?"I growl to myself angrily
Then again, what if she's just playing around?
She better be.
False alarm on the death of Star Saunders.
It's not like anyone would come to the funeral anyway.
I laugh at the thought of no one showing up at my funeral.
Flashback...
"What happened to that sweet little girl that was always so quiet?"my dad says
"She's gone dad. I am 15 now so I don't have time to be a sweet little angel"I say
He looked hurt by my harsh words.
"Oh...okay"he says
"Don't get me wrong dad, I still love you. I just can't stand trying to be nice to people I don't like"I say
"I understand"he says
"Daddy's little angel is gone now"I say
I walked out of his office and went to my room.
End Of Flashback...
Daddy's Little angel is gone now.
I never really wanted it to be this way...but some things happen for a reason.
Zach is probably happier with the other girl.
But he keeps trying to contact me...and I won't answer.
My life is over. I fell in love but ended up heart broken.
Isn't that how every love story ends?
Skipping to Sunday...
Birthday's only come once a year. I'm surprised that I'm not dead yet.
I was supposed to be dead 4 years ago, but my father wasn't gonna let that happen. Nor my mother.
The many breakups that I've been through since I was 12 were just...terrible.
But yeah...I'm 20 today. My anxiety is still at a high. I am/am not single. No one gives a flying pigs ass where I could be. They don't care where I would end up in life.
Shit, they don't even care if I end my life.
This gun is just very interesting. I wonder what it does.
I look at the cuts on my arms. All starting to close up.
I need to make more.
I went into the bathroom and grabbed the blade.
I pulled up the sleeves of my shirt again. I found an uncut spot and just started on my new sets of wounds.
I watched as they bled like crazy.
"I'm not crazy, I'm just special"I mumble
I watched as the blood dripped onto the floor. I laughed, not even bothering to clean it up.
"OCD is not an option right now"I say
I sat on the sink counter and let my wounds bleed out. I laughed to myself again.
"I thought he loved me...but I guess I thought wrong. Somehow that other girl has his heart now and I'm just a nobody. He probably doesn't even care to wonder what I'm doing to myself"I say, staring at myself in the mirror
Forget that, nobody cares what I do.
What is life without drama? Or some source of it?
That song by Selena Gomez named Who Says ain't gonna help shit right now.
I'm still in between life and death.
I leave the bathroom, not even caring to clean up the blood.
"Drip Drop, Drip Drippity Drop"I exclaimed,skipping back to my room
I'm a crazy bitch...but I won't let others see it.
I believe I left a trail of blood leading to my room.
I don't give a fuck though.
I laid on my bed and sighed deeply.
The ones who say they love you...are the ones who hurt you.
This is not how I wanted it to be...but okay.
Happy 20th Birthday to me.
(Aye, spitting bars lol)
Zach's P.O.V
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't leave this 4 game road trip and head back to check on my girlfriend?"I say
"Because we need you Zach"Glenn says
"Why?"I say
"We need young athleticism. And you have it"he says
"You have it too because we're both rookies. Isn't this what they wanted? Young talented rookies?"I say
"Yes. And they got that. But you're one of those young talented rookies and we need you"he says
I sigh and sit on my hotel room bed.
"I just miss her so much...she's probably doing something that she'll regret. Plus today is her birthday. I tried calling her but she doesn't answer"I say
"Well then, the situation must be that bad"he says
"She has anxiety and anger issues...so you know the situation just got worse"I say
"Oh shit that's not good"he says
I nod and just sat there, wondering what is it that she's doing at this very moment.
My poor girlfriend.
Uh Zach...you don't wanna know what your girlfriend is doing.
You or her father may not like it.
She playing with guns, cutting herself...you just don't know man.
Anyway, poor Zach...and Star.
Headed off to school. Bout to put in that work. But I'll be updating all weekend. See ya later ✌️.
