Nothing For Me

Part 10 (finale)

Natasha watched as Tony stumbled out of the ship.
"Couldn't stop him," the billionaire muttered.
"Neither could I," Steve replied.
"I lost the kid."
The black widow stopped listening then. She knew better than to let her emotions cloud her judgement, especially at a time like this, but at this point, she didn't think she could help it.
Chuckling bitterly, the woman turned around to walk back into the compound.
"Not even worried about your own child."
-
"It's been 23 days since Thanos came to Earth," Rhodey stated.
"World governments are in pieces. The parts that are still working are trying to take a census. And it looks like he did..." Natasha trailed off seeing your face pop up on the screen. "He did exactly what he said he was gonna do. Thanos wiped out fifty percent of all living creatures."
The woman glanced back at Tony watching as he went at it with Steve. She couldn't be bothered to listen to what anyone else was saying. Because there was something else running around in her mind.
Right now, she was cursing herself. She was cursing herself for being so guarded all the time. She was cursing herself for coming off so cold and emotionless.
She was cursing herself because she let her stupid fears and the stupid trauma get in the way of so many things. She let it get in the way of you.
Natasha saw your constant ups and downs; many of them caused by her knucklehead of a 'teammate'. But she was too scared to step up because she kept listening to those ridiculous questions that circled through her head.
What if I'm not enough?
What if I'm not what she needs?
All of those little 'what ifs' had gotten in the way of your relationship. She should've tried harder. She wished she held you longer that last time.
But she could no longer dwell on the past for you were gone. All she hoped was that you went out with no pain.
When Scott told Nat about the plan, she was all for it immediately. Anything to get everyone back; to get you back.
They convinced everyone to join.
They did the test runs.
Everyone was given an assignment.
She and Clint got to Vormir.
And she whispered those cursed words.
Let me go.
Anything for you.
-
Steve didn't really know you. And to be honest, you were hardly ever on his mind.
"Is, uh..." he watched as Tony struggled to get the words out of his mouth.
When Pepper ran up to him, Steve saw how the billionaire's shoulders slumped in relief. That was the first time you crossed his mind since the separation of the team.
He regrets that. Especially as he sees your face flash across the screen along with the other half of the population who vanished.
The pang that hit his chest was a pain he hadn't felt in a while. He remembers the first time he saw you, looking into the half established Shawarma, obviously searching for a familiar face. He saw as you visibly deflated and walked away.
At the time, Steve didn't think much of it. Hell, he never really thought of it. Not until now.
Right now, he was getting a glimpse into your world; a peek into a world where your father seemed to care about everyone but you. Steve watched as he fretted over Pepper. He saw Tony's distress about losing that Peter kid. But not once did he ask about his own child. The child who had been living with him longer than the Avengers had been assembled.
The captain couldn't help but feel frustration towards the philanthropist.
He had a chance to create a family--something outside of the superhero world. But he didn't take that chance. Tony simply ignored it for whatever reason and never looked back.
The anger wasn't on his mind for long, though.
Steve saw Peggy.
And everything else floated to the back of his mind while his previous life came to the front at full force.
Her hair that perfectly framed her face. The lips he always wanted to kiss. His decision was made then.
If this mission was successful--if the universe could get back their happy endings, then maybe, just maybe, he could be selfish for once and get back his.
-
When you came into Tony's life at the ripe age of...well, he didn't know how old you were.
He didn't know when your birthday was. He didn't know what you were allergic to. He didn't know what your favorite food was. He didn't know what your hobbies were.
The list could go on and on and on. He didn't know these things because he never took interest.
Tony didn't know how, but Obidiah convinced him to take you in. By the end of Obidiah's journey, it was obvious he was a horrible person so therefore he must have horrible judgement. Or at least that's how the billionaire saw it.
He never understood why he let himself be swayed so easily in the first place. The only reasonable explanation was that he was drunk off his ass that day, causing his guard to be down.
Tony wasn't a family man. Never was and never would be.
Or so he thought.
Eventually, he met Pepper. That woman honestly changed his life for the better. He was still a billionaire and philanthropist, but playboy had been crossed off of the list.
He was no longer drinking his days away and he wasn't as irresponsible.
Then he gained the avengers, who he saw as family (though he would never admit it).
Through his work, he found Peter, who he took under his wing and mentored. The teenager was like a son to him.
Hearing Peter's last words as they faded into nothing broke the heart Tony thought he didn't have. He sat in that spaceship with his mind wandering, thinking that if he had done more, Peter would still be here. He didn't even want to think about Pepper's fate. If he did, he wasn't sure that he would've lasted.
You were the last person on his mind and it would probably remain that way forever.
He wasn't thinking about you on that ship.
He wasn't thinking about you when he saw Pepper.
But when that list was showing the different people who had been dusted, it's like his already fragile body could have given out right then and there.
Thousands of thoughts and questions filled his mind.
He didn't know what you looked like. How old were you? When was the last time he saw you face to face?
There wasn't much time left to dwell on it as he continued to argue with Cap and soon collapsed.
The next five years was a weird period for him.
He had Morgan.
Tony didn't know why, but he suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to have kids.
Maybe it was to quiet the guilt he slowly felt bubbling up. Maybe it was because he wanted to have a second chance at fatherhood; to prove to himself and others that he was nothing like his father.
Eventually, you were at the back of his mind once again.
-
Wanda wished she had more time with you. In the real world, that is. Not in this...dimension thing half of the universe was stuck in now.
You were the only one who really ever made an effort to make her feel comfortable.
The two of you got close enough to where she opened up to you about Pietro, her parents, and gradually, her life in Sokovia.
In return, you told her about your mother, her death, and Michelle.
Then, Wanda couldn't explain it. As your relationship grew, she found this strong urge to protect you from any harm that could ever possibly come your way.
Even though you were both faced with this unfortunate outcome, she still tried her hardest to keep that silent promise.
She was your protector and she'd be damned if you became another person she lost.
-
Peter was at a crossroad. On one hand, he felt bad for you. He saw how you were practically neglected in a home you were forced to stay in and he was taking away the little attention you had.
On the other hand, he wasn't too sure he cared. I mean, he earned this opportunity fair and square. He used the powers he gained and the smarts he had to help people. But, you didn't do anything to help. You just moped in his opinion.
That's what he kept telling himself at least. Sure it's a little selfish and harsh, but it's the truth. Right?
-
You didn't know how long it had been. There was no day nor was there night. It was just this length of time that was impossible to measure.
You never got tired either. But you wanted to sleep. You wanted to sleep so you could wake back up and prove that this is all some super crazy dream.
Currently, you were sitting next to Michelle, her head resting on your shoulder. It was really all you could do these days; talk with everyone and just soak in the fact that not one person knew what was going on to a full extent.
"(Y/n)?" MJ muttered.
You turned to look at her and saw that she was disappearing right in front of your eyes. Again.
"Wh-what. Michelle."
You whipped around seeing that it was happening to everybody else. They were all turning to dust. They were all gone and you watched as every person disintegrated one by one until you were the only one left.
"No, no," you mumbled, looking at your body seeing that nothing was turning to ash. You were still whole.
"Fulfill your duty, my child."
-
You shot up from...wherever you were. You surveyed your surroundings and saw that you were in your room. But it was dark. How the hell did you even get back here?
Just as you were rising from your bed, there was a loud whistle, followed by a flash of light.
A missile.
Your arms shot up over your head in a useless effort to protect yourself. But as everything crashed and burned around you, you realized your attempt was not as useless as it was initially thought to be.
As the crumbling rubble slowed to a stop you looked up with furrowed eyebrows. There was a blue-ish dome surrounding you.
"What the fuck?" you cried.
Shakily, you lowered your hands and watched as the protective bubble slowly dissipated. There wasn't much time to dwell on it as the dust invaded the air and it slowly got harder to breathe.
Putting your emotions aside for the time being, you lifted yourself out of the damage with wobbly arms. Once you made it out, you stood and took in your surroundings.
The whole compound was destroyed and it looked like there was a fight going on in what used to be the lawn. You couldn't really tell because it was quite dark, but from what you could see, the avengers were losing. Badly.
All of a sudden these bright orange-ish portals start opening. People exit them and join the fight.
You want to join. You want to help.
But you're paralyzed with fear.
Your feet are unable to move due to the overflow of thoughts and emotions that are swirling through you. You're so lost and confused; it was too complicated to even think about moving right now.
The fight continued as you stood and watched. You watched every hit they all took. You watched every slash of a knife. You heard every pop of a gun. You heard every grunt of pain or exhaustion.
It eventually ended with a flash.
You watched as all of those alien things turn into ash just as you did not long ago.
It was only then that everything hit you.
You started running. You ran down the mountain of rubble, tripping and stumbling on the way down.
Eventually, you made your way to where the tired heroes stood. It drew everyone's attention from where they were previously staring. You tried to ignore it as you searched the crowd, desperate to find someone you knew.
"Clint," you breathed out.
You picked up your pace once again and made your way to the front of the battlefield. There were hands that reached out, trying to prevent you from getting any closer, thinking that you were some random outsider.
The archer had a dazed look in his eyes once you reached him.
"Clint. Clint, what's going on?"
The desperation in your voice made him look towards you. But you saw him glancing at something else.
Your mouth dropped open as you saw the aftermath of Tony's sacrifice.
"Is he dead?"
The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. You knew you were blunt, but you really needed some straight answers instead of weird glances.
"Yeah, that'd make you happy wouldn't it."
You whipped your head around and faced the spider boy who muttered those words.
"Really," you scoffed, scanning his battered appearance. His red-rimmed eyes almost made you feel sorry for him. Almost. "I might not have been best friends with him, but I wouldn't wish the bastard dead, Parker!" you yelled. "Do you really think that low of me?"
His clenched jaw gave you the answer you needed.
"Fuck you," you spat, jabbing his chest.
A hand lightly grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back away from the boy. You turned around and faced the Sokovian and just followed her where she pulled you.
The sound of whooshing in the distance told you that Tony was going to be fine. At least that was what you told yourself; that he was being rushed to the hospital because there was a chance that he would pull through.
The two of you had been walking for a while, but stopped when you reached what looked like a 'destruction free' zone. You both sat down.
"What's gonna happen now?" you looked over at Wanda with teary eyes. "Where am I gonna go?"
The witch doesn't have an answer for that. She just pulls your head on her shoulder.
-
It was a couple of days or weeks later. You couldn't tell. You'd been switching between Michelle's apartment and a cheap hotel room that Wanda managed to book in the nick of time.
None of you talked about that period of time where you had been blipped away. You knew that you should but this felt like a 'some things are better left unsaid' type of situation.
Nat had mysteriously come back. You were informed of her sacrifice at that weird ass place called Vormir but they got her back. You didn't want to question it because it would no doubt lead you into a spiral. You didn't even want to think about her being dead right now. The best option was for you to just flow with it and revel in the fact that she was here and hopefully not leaving any time soon.
While you didn't want to go, Michelle, Wanda, and Natasha had ganged up on you and convinced you to join in the 'congratulations on not dying Tony' party (you thought it was a bunch of bullshit because by that logic, they should be celebrating Natasha too).
The four of you rode together to some cabin which was supposedly Tony's. You remembered hearing about how he and Pepper decided to have a family together and that they had a daughter.
You're not going to lie--it stung quite a bit. Like a lot. He didn't even try for you but he makes a huge effort for Peter and some kid who hadn't been thought of until recently.
You didn't let it bother you though, because right now, your feelings didn't matter. Tony had narrowly avoided death and that's what everyone's minds were on so yours would just have to be on that too for the moment.
When you stepped out of the vehicle, you saw the billionaire's personality in the area quite quickly. It was homey and classy at the same time.
The 'party' had already started up from what you could with all the music and loud chatter. After making sure you were alright, Natasha and Wanda slowly integrated themselves and started to mingle with everyone. You saw the witch's eyes briefly float over the entire crowd as if she was waiting or looking for someone and you made a mental note to check in on her later.
You and MJ just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Michelle only knew Peter so she was really only here for moral support. You on the other hand had no desire to socialize with any of these people and just made your way to the riverside. Your girlfriend was quick to join your side and enjoy the peace with you.
"This is what I hoped to have one day," you muttered, breaking the silence. "After my mom died, that is. But, hope's for suckers I guess."
You leaned back and laid down in the grass. MJ laid down too.
She knew that there were times, not unlike these, where you just needed to get things off of your mind and rant. And she didn't mind listening at all.
"Do you think we could have this one day?"
Michelle looked over towards you with surprised eyes.
"You'd want this...with me?"
"Yeah, 'course I would," you nodded, scooting closer to her. "I love you. And I'm gonna need to buy my own place sooner or later. Can't keep crashing at your place forever. It was just a thought..." you trailed off, seeing the shock in her expression.
"No, no. Yeah. I..." she glanced back towards the lively cabin. "I think we could pull that off."
"Yeah?"
She nodded with a grin so wide that her cheeks were starting to hurt.
"Good, good," you paused. "I saw this place that wasn't far from that college you mentioned and..."
For the rest of that 'celebration', you and Michelle talked about your futures together. It ranged from apartments and jobs to if you would ever consider starting your own family.
The talk kept your mind off of the bad thoughts that you knew you would have to talk about eventually, but it was nice having this moment with her.
As you looked into her golden eyes and watched her hands flail around while she passionately talked, you knew then that you would do anything for her.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-
That's the end!!! Sequel coming soon!!