Love & Ruins (#2)

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One: Maggie

It's been a consistent pattern, at this point.

One has to be either blind not to notice it or they're purposely trying to rationalize themselves of the warning signs blaring right in front of their face, telling them to walk away while they still can, for them to be smarter than this.

I've theorized that history can repeat itself, but half of the time it's just stupid people still making the same stupid decisions because they don't know what's good for them.

Evan and I, unsurprisingly, fall under the latter.

It's deers roaming down an open road or swerving vehicles crashing into towering lampposts, it's chaos that's waiting at the other end but the idea of a last kiss goodbye despite a world that's burning down seemed to have more of an appeal to it than trying to prevent the apocalypse.

Maybe it's just our insatiable lust for destruction that prevents us from being careful because that's all we've ever known. It may sound frivolous, but after feeling trapped in environments where you're forced to act civilized to avoid being misunderstood, being your most authentic self to someone even if it means letting your darkest colors come out can feel incredibly liberating.

Just because something is poison doesn't make it any less enticing, after all.

It isn't until it seeps down your throat and you've realized what you've done is when shit starts to hit the fan, and then there's no turning back.

I could've made the effort not to acknowledge his snide remarks, I could've made the effort to leave the room when I realized it was only me and him left in there, I could've made the effort not to fan the growing inferno until it eventually burnt me and left a permanent mark.

Yet here I am, a deer heaving for help in the middle of the road, wounded by the swerving vehicle despite having already seen its headlights approaching from miles ahead.

Levi stared unblinkingly at us from the entrance of the room, he was silent but his eyes spoke a thousand words that after years of knowing him, at least gave me the ability to decode the blatant deception and confusion swimming behind them.

You could hear a pin drop by the way none of us took the initiative to explain themselves or even make the next move. It isn't necessarily the happiest of reunions, by any means.

But it didn't fail to shock me nonetheless when Evan cleared his throat, garnering both mine and Levi's attention as he took a step back, took his belongings, and swiftly left the room.

No words uttered, no need for explanation, no nothing, and in his defense, he wasn't obligated to justify himself to Levi knowing their very... unpleasant history, with one another.

Still, that didn't take the shock away as I was left stranded in the middle of the room, feeling more so like I was abandoned rather than left to take accountability for my stupidity.

You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.

You asked for this after all, didn't you? You just couldn't stay away.

Gulping, I didn't know what the next course of action was, my mind was paralleling the situation - it all may seem calm and dandy, but if you look closer, you can see the developing chaos about to ensue.

It may not happen now, but I guess the dread comes from the awareness that it will happen, and chances are, chaos will happen once Levi realizes the detrimental implications this situation caused.