Who Am I? - Criminal Minds

Chapter Twelve

Just chatting to other fans here....People's Choice Award? Criminal Minds totally deserved it. Not hating on Castle, but I tried watching it once, and barely made it through the episode. I found it boring. So...what the heck? Sigh, whatever.

On a happier note, have you guys seen the preview for Zugzwang? Oh. My. Gosh. I won't be able to sleep until I watch that episode. I'm serious.

"Spencer?" A woman cautiously enters my hospital room.

I glance at the doorway and the woman standing inside it. There's something familiar about her short, blonde hair and blue eyes - and the tired bags under them. I don't recognize her, but she definitely seems familiar.

"Uh...hi," I awkwardly say, unsure how to address her.

She shuffles in the room and takes a seat next to me. She looks me up and down, then into my eyes sympathetically.

"My poor baby," she murmurs.

I try not to look completely confused or surprised, but I'm pretty sure that's exactly how I look. "What?"

She glances at the floor. "Oh, Spencer..."

I try to think of a response, but my mouth just gapes open, unable to.

"What have you gotten yourself into?" A tear slides down her cheek, immediately making me feel guilty.

"Don't cry...please don't cry," I quietly beg.

She hangs her head, crying.

"Please..."

Suddenly her head snaps up, along with the rest of her body, walking around the room aimlessly, occasionally hitting herself. "I knew this job was a bad idea! I knew it! But I still let you do it. How could I do that? Why would I do that to you? I knew it was dangerous, but I still let you do it! How could I be so stupid!?" She repeatedly smacks herself in the face, forcing me to jump up.

I stop her hands from hitting herself again, and she struggles, but I try to calm her down. "Stop hurting yourself!" She tries thrashing around.

After she calms down a little, I loosen my grip. Something about this seems familiar. Her acting out and me calming her, at least. It feels like I've done this countless times before. But I don't remember any instances. She looks deep in my eyes, as though she can see something inside them.

"You're still in there," she whispers.

The tiles of the floor suddenly looks very interesting and I get back into my bed to distract myself slightly.

"I could read to you, just like I used to," she offers hopefully, pulling a book out of her purse.

"Did you want something?" That came off rude, but it's not like I even know her, but she's acting like I do.

"I am your mother," she sternly warns.

I freeze and my jaw gapes. Looking at her, I would've never thought that. I assumed she was my aunt or something. "Mom?"

Her eyes light up and she smiles. "Yes..."

A sudden burst of pain jolts my head and I see a flash of blinding light. I shut my eyes tight, clench my jaw, and grip my head.

"Spencer!" My mom's panicked voice is barely audible to me. The world is spinning and noises are fading in and out. I think I see some figures enter the room, though. I can't make out the gargled voice near me.

Someone gently pushes me somewhere and I run into something. Next thing I know, I'm laying down. I feel so dizzy and confused. I try saying something, but I can't understand what I say, leading me to believe what I've said is, "Merfglorgrerpluup."

The chaos goes away, but everything is different. I'm not at a hospital anymore, and everything seems taller than normal. I look at my hands and am surprised to see they've shrunk. They're not as bony either.

Looking around, I realize I'm in a house. Curious, I walk into a room that appears to be a kitchen. I wander around a while until I hear soft breathing. A smile spreads across my face as I break into a run.

I jump onto the big bed, waking up my sleeping mom.

"Spencer?" she groggily asks.

"Mom, I'm bored. Will you do something with me?"

"Like what?" She uses her elbows to prop herself up.

"Will you read to me?" I smile wider.

She laughs. "Don't you ever go outside?"

"Please?"

"Of course." She reaches over the side of the bed and reveals a lengthy novel.

I lean up against her and read along as she reads aloud, just as we've done dozens of times before.

A feeling of warmth, content, and general love blooms inside me and I struggle to stay awake as her comforting voice lulls me to sleep.

~~~~~ . : . ~~~~~

A nurse leads Diana Reid back to the waiting room, where the team waits hopefully. When they see her come, they stand up and wait for her.

"How'd it go?" JJ immediately asks her.

"I...uh...he...I'm sorry," she stutters, biting her nails nervously and looking down.

"He had a sudden severe migraine, so we brought her out," the nurse explains.

JJ thanks the nurse and leads Diana to the chairs in the waiting room, where they all sit down.

"Did he remember anything?" Emily asks carefully.

"He didn't say anything..." The team looks crestfallen. "But I saw it."

Hotch, Rossi, Emily, Derek, and JJ all exchange confused looks.

"What did you see?" Hotch slowly asks.

"In his eyes. His memories and personality. I saw him. I saw my Spencer."

I know that flashback is really similar to the one he had in Revelations. That's just to emphasize how often she read to him.