Who Am I? - Criminal Minds

Epilogue

"Hey, you okay?" Natalie asks me worriedly.

I realize I was lost in thought. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay..." I know she doesn't believe that. She knows me too well by now.

Truth is, a million thoughts are racing through my mind right now. One year ago today, I shot and killed John Daley.

I remember the terrible hours I spent with him, and the grief and hate that resulted. But I also remember that without him, I probably wouldn't have met Natalie.

We've helped each other cope and move on. And in the process, found love. It still amazes me how love can grow from the ashes of hate.

There were some legal issues about Daley's death. I claimed self-defense, but given the history between us, some people didn't believe me. Carol and Mason testified that I was defending myself, and if I had not shot him, they, along with their daughters, would be dead.

I know Daley was a monster. But I also know that killing someone is wrong. What scares me is that I don't regret it.

I've remembered so many things in hypnotherapy. I don't enjoy having the bad memories, but the bad comes with the good. I now appreciate the fact that I actually have memories.

I've accepted what has happened to me. Natalie and my friends have been a huge support in my life. I get the slightest sense that they are much more protective of me than they used to be. At first it annoyed me, but now I enjoy it. It shows how much they care about me.

Natalie's phone beeps and she looks down before standing up and gathering her things. "They just landed. I have to go pick them up."

"Okay, I'll clean up a little here."

Her parents flew here for the weekend. They want to spend time with Natalie and meet me. We wanted to wait until we were both ready before I met them.

During work, I'll often get flashbacks of what happened. They might not ever go away, but I need to move on with my life. I can't stay holed up in my apartment with Natalie forever.

I've realized something about myself I never did before Daley took me. Everyone looked at me as a weak bookworm. But I'm stronger than I thought.

I recovered. I didn't let him take the rest of my life. I found the good in this, and embraced it.

~~~~~ . : . ~~~~~

The brisk air carries a soft wind and whips my hair as I slowly walk, the healthy, green grass making no noise under my shoes. I shove my hands in my coat pockets and hunch my shoulders slightly, burying my neck in my overcoat.

I sit on the bench and absorb myself in thought. This place is peaceful, and the surrounding park is beautiful. I've come to think of today as the day it all finally ended. The day Daley fell marked the day people could stop fearing for their lives just by going outside; the day the families and victims could be at peace.

A memorial was set up for the victims, with their graves scattered around it. A giant stone carved into the shape of an angel stands proudly, "Hate leaves ugly scars; love leaves beautiful ones. - Mignon McLaughlin; In memory of the thirty-two victims that died from hatred," is carved into the pedestal. 

I always think of that quote. The hate Daley had left many people with awful scars, but the love I share with Natalie that resulted of the hate is a beautiful thing.

I sit here for a while longer, in peaceful thought, losing track of time.

"Rest in peace," I whisper.

It's short because it's the epilogue. Well, I guess that marks the end of this story. My first fanfiction is finished. If you have been reading since I uploaded the first chapter, six months ago, I thank you so much. I love all your guys' support and the comments on the last chapter made me so happy.

You've been a wonderful audience and support group! See ya guys around. :)

UPDATE: That picture on the side is MY edit of the quote I included in this chapter. Hence the 'mzenun' barcode watermark. Steal it (or any of my other edits) and I will eat your face off.