Don't Look Back

You Break My Heart in The Blink of an Eye

It was like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I couldn't breathe. What does one do in this situation? I looked back to where they were all laughing at me. Then looked at the back door where all of Nikki's friends were all laughing as well. I had two options. One, run off like a danssil in distress, tears in my eyes, or...

"You just think you're all cooler than us. Walking around like you own the place. All of you. You place yourselves on a pedis tool, for all of us to look up to you. But guess what? I'm not going to let you all walk over me, like I'm nothing. I'm sick of you treating people like this. First, my best friend Annie kills herself over how you treat her. Then Demi gets sent away because of your snooty asses. I'm not letting you do this anymore. I won't let this get to me!" I say to both groups. Then I turn to Sean and say, "I won't let your stunt ruin me. I should have never trusted someone like you, who has a reputation with going out with sluts like her!" I point to Nikki, then turn and stomp away. The whole party has watched my little outburst, and are all looking at me.

"Wait!" Sean yells out. He grabs my by the arm. I shake out of it.

"No! You have nothing I want to hear!" I yell.

I run out the front door away from the party that I want to just erase from my brain. I run about three blocks and collapse to the ground, out of breath. I look at the scars on my wrist of past times of depression. I can't go back to that place. Not now. I said they won't ruin me. I can't let them. I'm on my knees, clasping my stomach. A red car pulls up, and out steps feet that belong to a guy. I was about to run but then realise its Rick. He curls his arms around me and keeps quiet, and I let out the first tears in seven months. Why would someone do this? To anyone? Why was I so naive to think he actually cared about my feelings.

"Dont go back to that place, Roni." Rick was the only one who knew about about my depression.

***

Again, I sit in the cafe, staring down at my coffee. I swirl my spoon around the hot substance. I'm trying to forget what happend last night. I try drawing but it doesn't work. I rest my forehead in my palm. I get up and pay and stroll down the street. I take a deep breath of the cold air. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I whirl around to see Sean standing above me.

"What do you want? Tell me what I want to hear? Wrap me in your arms and plead to take you back?" I say.

"I hope you know she tricked me." He mutters.

"You should've known by now not to trust her! I have to go." I spin around and walk away.

"Please, I don't want to loose you."

"Well, you should've thought about that before you stuck you're tongue down her throat." I take off running and find myself at the stores near the movie cinema. I believed in him. Guess that was a mistake. I plop down on the bench where he first kissed me.

"Aww, poor little Roni." I look up to see Nikki holding a purse around her arm, with her friends all smirking at me.

"Narcissistic bitch."

"Excuse me?" Nikki asks, shocked.

"You just couldn't let someone beside yourself be happy for once? You couldn't keep to yourself. Maybe you should let someone be for once. Let them be happy."

"You didn't deserve him."

"That's none of your business. You can leave me alone now. You've got him. Now your going to just throw him away again into your man pile."

"Go kill yourself, little bitch. Just like your pathetic friend Annie."

"Don't call her that." I slapped her and walked away. I knew she couldn't catch up with me because of how high her heels were.