Endosymbiosis

55. Morgue

Galaxy's Core

We sprinted with the Hasta at full speed towards the galaxy' core, piercing the void of space like a projectile fired at Bleine.

Curled up in that bed I once didn't sleep on alone, I stared at the stars on the other side of the glass, while Kadi hid in the other area of ​​the ship.

"You should talk to him." Korrok whispered from behind me. "When it's all over, he will be gone."

"Because I killed the metriona?"

"Because he always was, sapiens. Even after all the times I tried to change his mind - and failed."

Kadi wouldn't want to hurt me with the pain of saying goodbye, and he wouldn't wait for the next morning for me to beg him to stay. I felt my chest tighten now that what I thought would never happen, however often I had been warned, was catching up with me.

Slowly I walked to the other part of the ship, my metallic footsteps against the floor heralding my arrival. Kadi sent me a corner look, hunched over the ship's dashboard as if he had the weight of the entire Empire on his shoulders.

"Who knew we'd end up alive..." I whispered.

"It's still too early to tell." He wasn't wrong.

"I..." I swallowed, trying to summon the courage to continue: "I wanted to apologize..."

"It's ok." He turned to me. "You don't have to-"

"No." I interrupted him. "I need to tell you that I regret lying and hiding the truth about the doses... Having acted as if my goals were more relevant than yours... Not accepting how important leaving was for you, even after you told it me so many times... I regret each and every mistake I made in trying not to lose you." I cautiously approached. "But I don't ask you to forgive me, because it wouldn't be fair."

"Doxy..." He closed the distance between us, balanced on that fragile rope that bounded us. "I already knew the cure wasn't real..." He... knew? "I knew the fevino wasn't going to kill me from the inside out, but I kept going to the core, because, for the first time in my life, I had a purpose beyond seeking an illusion..." He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple up and down his neck. "I finally had a reason to stay."

So he wasn't going because I'd blackmailed him, but because he... Wanted? The change, the purpose, the adventure?

"That doesn't justify my mistakes..."

"I know..." And, in his eyes, I saw his ability to forgive me, because so often forgiveness had been all he wanted. "But I shouldn't have asked you to spare your mother's killer... And I shouldn't have promised you a fate I wasn't ready to live."

Since I met him, he had always been in mourning... Not just for his father or family, but for the life he lost, the only chance every mortal gets in this universe. That should have been his best and worst years, but they were taken from him; and still, he made leaving me seem so difficult... And loving me so easy.

Kadi would sacrifice everything he gained to get back to what he lost and take care of those who needed him, since nothing out here could heal his pain.

"After we've been so unfair to each other, all that's left for us is forgiveness, Doxy... Even if none could change my fate."

"I know it doesn't... I just couldn't continue with the weight of never saying those words... Especially now that we're going to the last battle."

He sent me a look that practically stripped away every layer between the world and my essence.

"Do you think it's your last?"