cw; anxiety? declining mental health? one mention about s*xual assault & bullying (it's glossed over), nightmares, difficulty sleeping. idk im not diagnosed lol but this is sensitive content so if ur not on the right headspace to read it!! pls don't - i need some advice that's not at the detriment of your own wellbeing
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I don't know if this was a recent development after quarantine and not interacting with people for a while irl, or maybe it's something that I've had since a while ago, but I'm finding it harder to not overthink and succumb to anxiety
sometimes after a particularly bad experience I'll keep on trembling and my body won't stop shaking while my thoughts keep me awake and recount every possible mistake I've made and a thousand ways to try and make it better even if it's already resolved
i haven't found it hard to breathe or anything yet but I've never been like. shaken like this before. my heart starts racing really fast and since it's rainy season, the cold temperature of the room doesn't help me at all - i find it hard to hold things properly because of the tremors. even being huddled up in a blanket minorly helped. I've never experienced something this bad before;;;
I've also found it harder and harder to fall asleep these days. sometimes i toss and turn until a full hour has passed and only then i can fall asleep. sometimes i wish i had medication to help me just, , slip away because i hate feeling tired but unable to sleep
and when i do sleep, dreams frequently plague my rest. namely, nightmares - I've never had a problem with nightmares either, not until recently. I've had multiple that are bizarrely fantastical and leave me horrified, and they all happen in the span of a week. after one nightmare, there's usually another the next night, and i don't know why?? i think i'm pretty okay most of the time and i don't scare easily
in my dreams, my nightmares especially, i become self-aware. i ultimately know whatever's happening is in my dreamscape, but i can never actually get out of it until the nightmare ends or something horrible happens to my dream self so that my body will wake me up
i'm not a lucid dreamer either so i can't control what i dream, even though i certainly wish i could
my recent nightmares have been about grief, public humiliation, and even things like SA, bullying, - which, i REALLY don't know where they come from, but they feel very real and i genuinely am uncomfortable with the contents of these nightmares of mine
I feel like I have no one to talk about this to irl,, i don't want to bother anyone if this is just night terrors or something and my inability to toughen up and deal with things on my own
anyway, i don't think anyone's gonna read this tbh; but it's better to talk to a brick wall than no one, right?
does anyone have a way to make your body stop trembling because of your nerves or anxiety??? or a way to calm yourself down, , , and maybe ways to fall asleep faster? i know this is just. me reaching but i'd genuinely appreciate a little guidance here
