who do I wanna be?

help

⚠️CHAPTER INCLUDES SEXTUAL ASSAULT? NOTHING TO VAGUE OR HARSH⚠️

I woke up slumped against my desk, phone in hand. The peculiar message from the unknown number was still there. I texted back a quick "who is this?" Maybe I'd get a reply in a few hours.

I groaned once I got up my back was aching from leaning up against the desk in such a crude position. I took a quick look in my closet grabbing a light sweater and some long shorts. I sighed in relief seeing my father's door was still closed once I left my room.

I grimiced when I saw my face in the mirror my eye was definitely going to need an eye patch. There was a huge bruise on my eye, my cheek was slightly red, and there was a weird mark on my cheek that looked like a burn.

I pulled numbing cream and and eye patch out from the cabinet and softly applied it to my eye pulling it down to my cheek. The stinging feeling lingered for a while.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs my skin tingled. There was a picture on the table of mom and dad's wedding day. They looked so happy together it makes me wonder if I'm the reason all this happened. They were doing just fine until I was born they were so sweet and caring.

But I grew up. Then for some reason they started fighting dad became a drunk and mother didn't like that. I overheard them talking once. Father had been to touchy and overbearing. My mother said I always seemed strangely attached to him. She always told me "daddy's got you attached at the hip huh" then would laugh.

I never understood why he kept me so close I still don't. He just...seems to hate me now when I was a kid it was two peas in a pod now it's just two strangers who so happen to be at the same bus stop.

I walked past the photo not wanting to reminisce on old memories that no longer had value. I didn't make anything to eat or take my pills like I was told to I simply don't want to. The pills make me feel like an alien and the food upsets my stomach. I barely eat anything anyways the church has sandwiches and what not but they aren't very good.

I walked to the door immediately, taking in the smell of the outside. It was so peaceful when I could just be outside it was calming. I didn't wanna be anywhere else.

I took small steps torwards the church house where I'd be spending my entire spring break. If you work there you don't get a day off even if it's Christmas or a funeral.

I didn't like to dwell on it, it was an awful thought they were doing something good though. They were helping people, saving them. They would save me too, god will help me I just need to push myself. He will save us all so the world will be perfect.

I made it to the church sooner then later, I stood at the door for a minute debating whether to go in or not. I felt anxious but finally made the decision to just walk in.

That guy from the day before was there. My heart sunk for some reason seeing his face he just felt off? As soon as the door opened his eyes flew to me for some reason. He was just giving me this intense stare like he could drill a hole through my head.

I couldn't stop a small frown from appearing on my face as I walked to the back to the Janitor's room to sweep the floor. I quickly took the broom up and the small dust pan an overwhelming feeling of disgust washing over my body.

Oh God I'm gonna be sick. I ran out of the small room to the nearest trash can immediately vomiting into the small bin.

I felt people obviously staring at me a familiar eye drilling into my head. The pastor came up to me rubbing circles on my back dismissing me from the church. I tried to convince him I was alright but he told me to go home and rest.