Heart on Fire (Chandler Riggs)

chapter 11 - burning

Holy crap I made a new cover what do you guys think? The other one sucked monkey balls so I had to make a new one. But wOw thanks for 200+ votes and 4k reads! tbh idk if that's a successful ratio for wattpad but whatever.. AND there's a line from Looking For Alaska by John Green (literally my favorite book ever) in here and tell me if you can find it if you've read it.

Listen to 'Naive' by The Kooks and then 'Never Let Me Go' by Florence + The Machine.

As I titled the bottle to align perfectly with my lips, the liquid flooded my mouth as I ended up consuming more than I would've liked. The vodka traveled down my throat, a burning sensation starting as I swallowed. The flavor was alot to take in: it was strong and unfiltered and intense. It was not like anything I'd ever drank before.

My brain must've mistaken the stinging feeling in my throat as pleasure, or excitement because I rose the bottle to my lips and took a longer gulp of the drink. I could take it down easier this time; I didn't squint my eyes as much.

"Don't drink the whole thing," Hana joked, grabbing the glass out of my hand to feed her own pleasure but I think that benefitted me for the time being. She chugged down a few gulps then stopped as I watched the town against the edge. The sun was setting even more, the sky changing to an orange shade. "It's reallllllly pretty out here." I say, tracing my finger along my hand.

"Yeah, I guess." Hana jested, handing me back the vodka which contained half the drink left. "I figured you should get to finish it. Since you know, it's your first time and all." That was a lot of vodka, I thought. I was already feeling a bit out of it, and I only had a few gulps. But then I thought about the taste. It was weird and it kind of hurt, but the burning of the vodka could never compare to the burning in my heart. And everything I did had reason. For example, I took the job to get money for my family. But this? This was something I just did, and it wasn't why I did it that mattered, but the fact that I even did it at all.

The bottle filled my mouth with the alcohol, causing me to swallow it down rapidly. Looking back at the glass, with that I had already drank 1/3 of what was left. Hana's attention was no longer on me as she wandered around the rooftop, taking careless and clumsy steps. After I finished the vodka, I bent down to lie it down gently, but it ended up slipping out of my loose grip and making a clink noise as it hit the ground. This turned Hana's head towards me, her blue eyes now dialated and a bit red. "Ready to go?" she asked, slurring her syllables. Too engulfed in the weird, ungainly feeling I had, I just nodded, following Hana back down the building where we had come from.

We walked back to the car, our inelegant and wobbly legs leading us into our seats. Hana started up the car again, seeming to regain a small bit of her composure as she started to drive, fortunately for the both of us.

As we drove through the long pathway again, my eyes followed the trees that I saw from the window. The branches were a deep forest green with water droplets on each stem due to previous rainfall. They were all in a random formation as each one stood behind the other, disabling you to see what's behind.

I tapped on the glass with my knuckles. "Here."

Hana glanced over at me, giving a failed attempt at rolling her eyes. "What?"

"Here. Let me out here," I said. Hana didn't even slow down the car.

"Are you stupid?"

"No. Let me out here." I followed what my demented brain was telling me as I tried to use my best serious voice but there were wavers through each word.

A moment of silence passed through before Hana sighed, slowing down the car. When it came to a stop, I opened the door, walking out of the road and stepping into the wet soil that belonged to the forest. She tossed out a can before she drove off, leaving only me and nature and the can. I bent down slowly, picking up the can with a royal blue exterior. Twisting it in my hand, it revealed the label. Bud Light Platinum.

This can would be my only companion for the journey I had no actual reason for taking. I popped the tab open and brought the drink to my lips as I walked around the labyrinth of trees, aimlessly wandering.

Then, as if on cue, an urge tugged at my mind. There was something I needed to do, someone I had to see, a place that I should've been. My senses kicked in as I took myself to a place that I could only remember good memories happening.

My feet ached as I walked. I walked and walked for minutes. I was sure it had been an hour when I finally reached the end of all the trees, a clear passage opening to a row of houses. With the little pressure my feet could still handle, I started to run. I nearly tripped over my feet several times, but my motives kept me steady. I didn't know what time it was but the sun had stopped setting and the sky was now purple. I wouldn't have been able to see if it weren't for the streetlights. The full moon hung high above the trees, illuminating the sky.

I knocked impatiently at the door. As I waited, I aimed to toss the Bud Light can in the bushes, missing by a wide margin as it landed in the grass. I had no actual sense so I didn't care.

"Hadley?" I didn't really answer to the fact that it was my name but the fact that it was a voice. His voice.

I looked into his blue eyes and licked the taste of beer off my lips. "Hi."

"Shit, what's wrong with you?"

There were so many words on the tip of my tongue but none of them would give him the answer he desired. I remained silent and just let Chandler take my hand and guide me to his room. When we reached his room, he was hovering over my shoulder as I just stood in the doorway. His hand was planted on my waist with a firm grip. I could feel his hot breath on my shoulder and I knew he was worried and curious and confused, but he asked no more questions.

"I suck," I finally broke the silence and turned around and faced Chandler. "I know it and I'm sorry." It was something I had felt from the last sober bone in me.

It seemed like Chandler ignored what I just said when he asked his next question, "Are you drunk?" he breathed. I just smiled and sat down on his bed. Chandler quickly followed, sitting down next to me. "So how did you get here then?"

"We can talk about it, but not right now, cause I'm really drunk. And you're not drunk, but I'm really drunk."

"Are you okay?"

"I feel pretty okay."

Chandler scooted closer to me, his distinctive smile playing on his lips. Our legs were now touching as I stretched my arm and put it around his neck, bringing him closer to my face. "Well, did you know," he started, "that if you drink enough vodka, it tastes like love?" His minty breath hit my face.

"You know what else taste like love?" I didn't give him any time to react nor respond before I planted my drunk lips on his. Our lips moved in a fast, eager motion, unlike any other one of our kisses. For a brief moment, I wondered if my lips felt nice and if I was even doing a good job. But all I actually knew was that his lips felt satisfying on mine. We kissed until I even tasted my alcohol on his lips. We kissed until the sky wasn't even purple but it was now just black. That may seem like a long time but it wasn't enough.

Our lips slowly drifted apart and my eyes remained closed. "This is fun," I tell him, "But I'm tired. To be continued?" I open my heavy eyes as he nods, a goofy smile playing on his lips. I moved under the warmth of his covers, burying my head deep into his pillow. It is embedded with Chandler's earthy, cozy scent. It wasn't long until I feel Chandler lying beside me, and I take the initiative to put my head on his chest. His heartbeats work as a lullaby to me until I am peacefully asleep, Chandler's arm secured around my hip and my head nozzled under his chin.

"She was too quiet, or she was too loud. She took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. She was too sensitive, or too cold-hearted. She hated with every fiber of her being, or loved with every piece of her heart. There was no in-between for her. It was either all or nothing. She wanted everything but settled for nothing."