What I Should Have Done ✓

Chapter 30

"Hey, what are you doing for Feb break?" Liam's muffled voice reached my ears which, along with my entire head, were currently stuck in my closet in which I was looking for my favorite cardigan to wear to dinner.

Before break started next week, J-term finals were scheduled, so we were studying in my room. Forensic Psychology and Criminal Behavior was hard and time-consuming, even for a Little Ivies school, but fascinating as heck. I didn't think I could ever watch crime shows again, the criminal psychology in them was horrendously and dangerously inaccurate. After completing this class, I would only have a few more required courses for my major. At least in my academic life, things were coming together.

Liam was taking State Politics which was only offered during winter term every year and taught by the former governor of Vermont who happened to be an alumnus of the college. Liam's assigned readings had included anything from the state constitution to Supreme Court cases to academic journal articles on the nature of US federalism. For me, The Early Republic had been enough political science this year.

"After I get back from New York, I'm spending the week at home with my dad and Grampa. You're going home, too, right?"

There it is, my white knit cardigan. He still hadn't spoken when I closed my wardrobe door and noticed the swirls of tension in the room.

"Yeah. What are you doing in New York again?"

Shit, I hoped he wouldn't ask.

A deep breath filled my lungs with some much-needed air. "I'm going to that wedding, remember?" Please don't freak out.

"Wait—John's brother's? You're still going to that?"

The fuzzy rug rustled against the concrete floor as he stood.

"I RSVPed months ago and already bought my Amtrak ticket home from New York. Plus, they specifically asked me to help out."

Marianne had called me out of the blue two weeks ago and had repeated the invitation, telling me they could use a few extra hands. Laura from the background had emphasized that she would be happy to see me again. I hadn't been able to say no to them. Especially when they needed my help after having been so extraordinarily kind to take me in for Thanksgiving.

"I'm sure they've got it covered. You could have gotten a refund." Liam's darkening eyes and hands on his waist pulled me back into the present. My lungs yearned for more oxygen, but I didn't dare reach around Liam to open a window.

"Not on the saver fare."

"But—you're not even friends with John anymore."

A secret I hadn't told anyone was this: I missed John. So what if it was pathetic. I understood we'd more than likely never get together, but I had also lost a friend in December.

"That's coming from you? What happened to honoring commitments? You even get annoyed when I tell you I'll be fifteen minutes late for dinner."

He frowned. "That's different and you know it."

His tone made my stomach stir uncomfortably. It was different and I did know it. Yet, I arched my eyebrows to say 'Is it?'.

He raised his hands in defense. "I think we both know it is."

"Please don't pick a fight you can't win. I'm going."

He looked like I had punched him in the gut. "What's gotten into you? I'm not the one picking this fight. You decided to go to a wedding with your ex-crush."

My breath got stuck in my throat. Shit.

"Don't look so shocked. Of course I knew, I'm not blind."