What I Should Have Done ✓

Chapter 35

Even Winter Carnival couldn't cheer me up this year. Annually since 1923, the student activities board organized a week of special events such as a bonfire and fireworks, free hot chocolate at the libraries, sledding down the hill, and a ski race on Snow Bowl.

And, of course, Winter Ball. The activities board always hired a no-name DJ whom they praised as the next big thing, decorated one of the gyms, and demanded an entry fee for the spectacle. For many, it was more of a peer pressure thing than an actual good party. I had gone with Jessica freshman year and sophomore year, she and I had marathoned New Girl until we had fallen asleep at 11:30.

But this year I had to go because Liam had officially asked me and I had said yes. To many, Winter Ball was an opportunity to get a do-over for bad high school proms. Still, my date couldn't distract me from the fact that I hadn't heard from John since New York. He changed his mind. I stalled for too long.

My old strappy Easter dress was shorter now. While it used to reach my knees when I'd first gotten it, it now covered about half of my thighs when I wasn't stretching—a good length for a 20-year-old. The teal color highlighted my green-blue eyes nicely and the floral lace all over as well as the thin salmon-colored satin ribbon below the chest made it more playful. Will John be there? Will he like it?—Stop. He's not your date.

I had washed and braided my hair the night before and slept that way so I'd have natural waves. Jessica hadn't reached out since our argument the other night, so Linh had offered to be my make-up artist for the night. She and Greg weren't going anyway. My chest tightened at the thought of the fight with my best friend, but I was determined not to have it get me down. Jessica had surely had her reasons and would come around eventually.

One burden included in the Winter Ball experience was almost turning into an ice statue on the way to the athletic complex, but at least I could leave the plastic bag with my boots at the coat check to change into again later for the way back. No way was I walking through the snow and mud in ballet flats.

Liam picked me up in dark pants and a white shirt, looking well-groomed and handsome. A wide grin split his face and he kissed me on the cheek. He had initially wanted to take me out to dinner before, but I was saving up for grad school and would not let him get the check for the both of us. Going to ehe dining hall also gave me more time to finish my Spanish essay for the following Monday. The fact that it wasn't the most romantic option suited me fine. I was torn between my head and my heart and I desperately needed them to fall into step.

Inside, after sixteen minutes of no John, I relaxed more, talked and laughed with some friends of Liam's from SGA and track intramural and some classmates of mine from Spanish. I was having a decent time when I excused myself to go to the restroom to pee and check my phone without being impolite.

As I made my way through the crowd and shot friendly smiles to some people, my face fell when I saw him: there was John, looking overdressed and devilishly handsome in the same black tux he'd worn to the wedding, minus the tie, exiting the overage section. His toned chest in a black tux over a waistcoat which made him look heart-stoppingly—stop, Grace! Either you're over him or over Liam. You can't have both. He hadn't seen me yet, but it was too late to turn around, so I tried to sneak around the side.

"Grace!"

Crap. When I pretended not to have heard, he made a beeline for me until he stood in front of me and created a barrier with his outstretched arm.

"Please wait," he said, a little out of breath.

"John." My eyes were firmly fixed on the floor. I feared my legs would turn to pudding if I looked at him.