What I Should Have Done ✓

Chapter 34

February rung in the spring term. The days didn't seem to get longer yet, but they would before we'd know it. As usual, I rode back to college with the girl from Portland. We arrived shortly after 6 pm and the first place I went was Jessica's. She had flown back in around noon to be there when her first-years arrived back. I couldn't wait to talk to her about the wedding and had waited to speak to her in person instead of over the phone.

I knocked on her door and waited. Her dry-erase board said she was in, but if her door was shut, she didn't like me letting myself in. When I didn't hear a response after a couple of seconds, I knocked again. Maybe she'd gone to the bathroom. After a good fifteen seconds, still nothing. The hall was eerily quiet, only some shifting furniture at the other end revealed that at least one of her hallmates hadn't gone to the dining hall yet. That's odd, aren't Sundays when she has dinner with them? Perhaps she had forgotten to mark herself absent on her board.

"Jessica?" I called, knocking again.

This time the door swung open and there stood Jessica, her tar black hair held back by a headband and thick white paste all over her face save her eyes and mouth.

"Sorry," she mumbled and stepped aside to let me in.

"No worries. Want to grab dinner?"

Scanning the room, I noticed her suitcase wasn't unpacked yet, which was atypical for her. Something had probably come up.

"Are you okay?"

Jessica picked up the suitcase and placed it on her bed, then began to unpack her clothes, unfold and refold them to put them away. "Yeah. I might go later, I'm not hungry."

"Oh, okay."

A few seconds passed before I sat down on the edge of my bed. "Jessica, I need your advice on something."

"I don't think I can help."

I was startled for a second.

"Nonsense, you're always helping. Something happened at the wedding. The ceremony was really sweet and the reception was great and I even snagged a small glass of red wine."

"Grace, I'm kind of busy and worn out from the trip."

"Oh." I cleared my throat. "Sure. Um, the short story is: John likes me."

She stopped folding and looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"And what did you say?"

"That I was still with Liam. What else could I have done? The last two times I tried to talk to Liam about my doubts it didn't go as planned. How can I not let him suck me back in?"

"Grace, it's not complicated. You want to be with John, so tell Liam exactly that and boom, problem solved." How could she make it out to be this simple?

"But my parents—"

Jessica let out a frustrated noise and threw a shirt she was holding back into her suitcase. "Your parents traumatized you and that's terrible, but you have to take responsibility. I gave you my advice weeks ago and you didn't follow it. That's fine, but don't keep coming back to me and expecting new advice. I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I've got enough drama of my own right now and can't deal with yours on top of it. Yes, other people have problems, too."

Annoyed, she turned her back to me and continued unpacking her suitcase. My heart contracted as I looked at her. Hot tears started forming in the corners of my eyes and a lump settled in my throat.

"Drama? What's your drama?"

"Never mind."

"Jessica—"

She never used her strict tone on me, but now she did. "Can you give me some space, Grace?"

Suddenly I was a small, reprimanded child. "Sure," I croaked and stood. "Sorry."