All Random Encounters Musical Lyrics

A PROPER END: A Stanley Parable Song

[THE NARRATOR]
This is the story of a man named Stanley.
A simple man with a moderately simple job:
To sit at his desk and push buttons all day long.
His job was so simple, in fact, he could even work from home.
And so Stanley sat pushing buttons all day without a single thought in the world...
Until one day...
...his buttons stopped working.
How could this be?
How would he do his job?
Stanley had to fix this!
Stanley stepped out of his office through the door.
Took the stairway up to check the second floor.
To the right, Stanley kept his storage.
That was where is instincts led.
But instead of right, he sets his sights on the room to the left instead.
Stanley knew this room was not the proper choice
But he sat down and ignored his inner voice...
This whole "story" thing was something Stanley couldn't comprehend.
Let's start over and find a proper end.
Stanley's buttons had blah, blah, blah...
...you know how this goes.
Stanley had to fix this.
Stanley took the right-hand door, no-
STANLEY, RIGHT!
It appeared that Stanley wasn't very bright...
Now the story's utter rubbish, and it's frankly all your fault.
Your disdain for my directions brought our plot line to a halt!
Let me see if I can get us back on course...
Oh dear.  Now how'd we find ourselves outdoors?
I admit, this all seems foreign, but I loathe to recommend
We start over and find a proper end.
Or at least something with air conditioning...
Hang on, Stanley.  I have an idea.
Let's try something different...
This should make our story shine!
The STANLEY PARABLE ADVENTURE LINE!
Now the plot is much more clear-
Why'd it lead us into here...?
That's not right...
No, surely not.
Is this much closer to the plot?
How's it worse with every turn?!
Oh, isn't this a lovely fern?
...well?  Isn't it?
No...
...no I suppose it isn't.
My standards are just becoming painfully low...
Stanley took the- hold on, Stanley's disappeared...
Stanley slept through his alarm, just as I'd feared...
Well, our story doesn't need him!
What'd Stanley ever do?
We'll find him a replacement...
...like you!
Yes, it's perfect!  This new Stanley's much improved!
Other than the fact that Stanley hasn't moved...
Come on, make us a decision!
Think like Stanley!  Play pretend!
Oh, I wouldn't-
Oh, you did.
Then it's time for me to bid
You and Stanley
a proper end...
...but the video had so little budget, that instead of a massive, fiery explosion
it simply cut to black.

The audience waited, filled with questions.
Was it over?
Was Stanley dead?
Where was The Beard?
Is that poor, handsome Narrator out of a job?
Oh, not to worry.
I'm gainfully employed on YouTube now
making covers of The Stupendium's songs.
Sayori's aloof and kooky...
Natsuki's sweet and cutesy...
Yuri is deep and brooding...
Monika's brains and beauty...
It's all da da da... hm... hm.