I jogged up the concrete steps, my backpack thumping against the sharp cave of my shoulder blades. The stairs led to a large building that must have dated back to the Victorian times but had recently been renovated; the original brick walls replaced with smooth marble that reflected the modern interior of the hall. Careful to shuffle back and forth a few times to get rid of any mud that still lingered on my sneakers, I announced my arrival to the security guard as if I was some kind of highly prestigious guest. He took my through to a small conference room where a number of YouTubers lounged open, sipping coke from cans and tossing banter back and forth with one another. Most of them were already friends; brought together by the YouTube community. I, however, knew very few of them and so awkwardly seated myself by the door; hands folded in my lap and eyes desperately seeking a familiar face. It made me think...maybe I hadn't come as far with YouTube in the past year as I thought I had. I mean, part of the whole experience was about befriending other YouTubers, something I seemed to have failed to take into account. A petite girl with long raven black hair and a dark complexion sat to my left, legs crossed and arms folded; a pose typical of middle school students. She wore flowery leggings and hot pink Dr Martens coupled with a shirt that reached her knees. I smiled at her, bringing my hand up in a wave.
"It's kinda busy in here, right?" I said, an awkward attempt to make conversation. She nodded.
"Yeah. This is my first year here at Playlist." She said in a lilting Irish accent.
"What's your channel?" I asked, meaning the username of her YouTube channel.
"Snowdude," [does anyone get this reference??] The guy sitting next to the asian girl said, thinking I was speaking to him. I smiled warily.
"Oh, cool." I muttered. The girl to my left sniggered, her eyes glittering as she laughed.
"I'm Aisha and my channel name is Aishalovescats. I was eleven when I made it, so don't judge." She reached out to shake my hand, a formal introduction that I wasn't used to.
"I'm Liz,"
"Oh, I know who you are." She replied. I waited for the whole 'You're Danisnotonfire's ex girlfriend, right?!' thing but she surprised me by saying, "I love your videos! Especially the one about your relationship with Dan. It actually inspired me to tell my girlfriend that I was in love with her, so thanks, I guess, for that."
"You watch my videos," I said slowly, still taking it in. It wasn't as if I expected for absolutely NO ONE to recognise me here, but it was nice to be noticed as someone other than Dan's ex.
"Is Dan coming this year?" Aisha queried. I shrugged nonchalantly and averted my gaze.
"I don't know. I haven't spoken to him in a while." I said shortly.
"Dan's over there?" 'Snowdude' jabbed me in the shoulder with his guitar pick and gestured wildly over to where Dan sat, crowded by a mass of other YouTubers; all eager to talk to him purely so that they could say 'I'M BEST FRIEND'S WITH DAN HOWELL!' after one brief conversation with him. I swear my heart beat so fast, then, I could hardly breathe; just like it always did when he was around. I got to my feet shakily. It wasn't as if I could just ignore him, we needed to talk things through...maybe he had ignored my response to his tumblr ask by accident. He might have just not seen it, I told myself, even though deep down I knew that it had been on purpose. Why would Dan Howell hang around waiting for a girl like me to come to my senses when he could have any girl that he desired? The truth is; he wouldn't. Pj and Phil stood beside Dan, each with their respective girlfriends (although I hadn't met Phil's new girlfriend yet. I made a mental note to introduce myself later). Chris perched on the corner of the table and winked when he saw me staring.
"I haven't seen you in the longest time, Liz Howard." He said, putting on a mock swagger as he made his way across the room.
"Why, Chris Kendall, at playlist live? Is this really happening? After all that shit about quitting YouTube but not quitting YouTube. I mean, surely YouTube gatherings are part of YouTube, ya get me?" I said. Chris quirked an eyebrow as he leaned in to kiss me wetly on the cheek.
"I'm a confusing man, Liz Howard. Surely you had realised that fact?"
"I just didn't know you had it in you to troll the entirety of your subscribers and reduce your more emotionally invested 'fangirls' to tears." I said, struggling to keep the contempt out of my voice.
"It was a mistake and we've established that I'm a shit human being." Chris said. "Moving on, have you been acquainted with Dan's new woman?" I froze. I could see Chris smirking but I couldn't help but turn to see who exactly this 'woman' was. She was gorgeous.
"Fuck me," I whispered.
"Gladly." Chris said with a playful wink. I didn't respond. My eyes had drifted back to the girl sitting so close to Dan that her legs were resting on top of his thighs, her head titled slightly so her hair fell onto his shoulder. She looked up and gave me a half smile. I glared.
"Who is that?" I spat.
"It's Dan's new girlfriend, Stacy. She's a friend of Carly's; Pj set them up." Chris informed me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook back my hair, exposing my face.
"She's pretty." I said, aiming for nonchalance and failing miserably.
"Indeed." Chris agreed matter-of-factly. "Don't give too many fucks about their new relationship though, Liz. You left Dan, remember." He warned after a few seconds silence.
"I know. I just didn't expect him to have a new girlfriend already, that's all."
[NEXT CHAPTER WILL INCLUDE JACKSGAP]
