I wrapped my hands around a champagne flute and tipped it back at my mouth, letting the bubbly liquid trail down my throat and leave me leaving a little more disorientated and elated than usual. Jack said opposite me, his hands nervously playing with the napkin placed on his lap. It was evident, verging on obvious, that he had made a big effort tonight to look nice. He had donned a dark blazer that brought out his eyes and I could swear his shoes had been polished. The conversation flowed readily, much like the champagne. I guess being a big shot Youtuber like Jack had its advantages. We’d already been approached by too many fan girls to keep track of, all desperate for a photo with my date. Could I ever call it a date? Sure, we’d been flirting a little here and there but he hadn’t displayed an actual real interest in me. I cut into my substitute meat (vegan Monday through Thursday; vegetarian always) and took a small bite. I was always painfully aware of my table manners when it came to eating in front of people; so much so that I preferred to eat alone. Not that I would rather be alone than in Jack’s company right now. He was lovely, so different from Dan. In a good way. He was ever polite, every cheeky, ever suave. Everything about him was in contrast to Dan, right down to his sense of humour. Dan was relentlessly sarcastic whereas Jack wasn’t in the slightest.
“I still can’t believe the whole ‘Finn is fake’ concept fooled so many people.” I said, genuinely baffled at the utter outrage from about forty per cent of Jack’s subscribers in response to the ‘celebrating one million subscribers’ video he had uploaded.
“I know,” Jack agreed, widening his eyes. “It was only meant as a joke, I seriously never expected for it to get taken so massively out of proportion!”
“It must have come as a shock,” I sympathised, ever though Jack was far from upset about the whole ordeal. “There wasn’t nearly this much confusion about Dan’s one million subscribers video, aside from all the people that thought he had literally set himself on fire by accident.” There I go again; always bringing the topic of conversation back to Dan, I thought bitterly. I noticed Jack writhed in his seat as soon as Dan’s name was mentioned. Lay off, Liz, don’t scare him away on the first date or whatever we were going to label this dinner together as.
“Yeah, he uploaded that today, right? It was a good video especially as he only allowed himself two days to film it.”
“I know. I assume he wanted to film it whilst he was still out here, in Florida, though. He loves it here.” I mused, propping my arm up on the table so I could rest my chin on it.
“Hmm.” Jack took a sip from his glass of some nondescript liquid. “Are we going to head over to the party after this? It’s exclusively for Youtubers that did signings at Playlist, right? It’ll probably be shit but I don’t know. Was there one last year?”
“Yeah but it was lame. YouTube’s grow a shit load this past year though, so it might be fun. Besides, there’ll be lots of cool people there I mean; hello?! I was fangirling over Smosh before fangirling was cool.”
“I don’t think fangirling will ever be labelled as ‘cool’” Jack laughed.
“True,” I shrugged. “I’m just saying, we’ll have a good time. No matter how bad the party may be, it’s better than just sitting in my hotel room together staring out the window, right?”
“I wasn’t playing on us just sitting.” Jack said casually. I choked.
“Hey! Are you okay, what the-” Jack got up abruptly and came round to thump me on the back. By this point practically the whole restaurant’s attention was focused on my coughing fit.
“You’re not dying are you?” He joked, but I detected a hint of panic in his voice.
“No, I’m good.” I managed to blurt out in between coughs. I downed the remainder of my champagne in one swig and was finally able to breathe again. So much for keeping a low profile.
“That wasn’t just your ovaries exploding, was it?” Jack said with a wink.
“Oh my god,” I laughed. “No, I’m pretty sure my ovaries are still intact.” I acted as if to check to see if my ovaries were still fully functional but realised where that was going moments before whipping off my dress, and played it off as checking my imaginary phone.
“I’m glad. A girl needs her ovaries.” Jack said seriously. It left me wondering why Jack would ever ask me to have dinner with him when I clearly didn’t introduce the most exciting topics of conversation.
Dan was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Stacey. This was both a good and a bad thing; good because I didn’t want to speak to Dan directly until I had fully sorted out what had happened between us (which ironically I would not be able to do without speaking to Dan) but bad because if they weren’t here then they were probably getting it on in their hotel room. I decided I would much prefer stilted conversation between me and Dan than the alternative of having to imagine him and Stacey having hot sex in the bath. I tried to prise the mental image from my mind. Both Damon and Christian had turned up, despite the former’s almost crippling social anxiety. I felt a smile tug at my lips as I noticed him conversing rapidly with his friend, Cyr. If Damon could enjoy this party then surely so could I. Christian was standing closely to a girl who I recognised as his girlfriend from pictures and such. She really was stunningly beautiful, and I felt a familiar stab of jealously at how attractive a couple they made.
“Hey Liz, how was your date with Jack?” Phil asked, sidling up me. His arm was wrapped protectively around his girlfriend’s bare shoulders and he had a drink in either hand. He offered me a glass of coke (which had probably been spiked with vodka) and I accepted it, swirling a mouthful of the sweet drink around in my mouth.
“It was great, thanks! He’s so lovely and genuine. I think there might be something between us.” I said, not entirely truthfully. Let Phil run back to Dan and tell him all about mine and Jack’s ‘relationship’.
“Really? Dan will be pretty annoyed to hear that,” Phil whispered into my ear, leaning forward as if to straighten the collar of my dress. I brushed his hand away, saying; “What? Why would he be? What?”
“Are you honestly trying to tell me you think he’s into Stacey? Liz, he’s only known her for a few days. It’s nothing but fun.” He explained. I shook my head miserably.
“That’s not true and you know it. I’ve seen them together.” I protested.
“Well maybe, sure, their ‘fun relationship’ might progress into something more unless you sort things out once and for all with Dan. You know that I usually wouldn’t be in favour of you having yet another long winded talk with Dan about your relationship, or lack of relationship, if you really are as in love with him as you say then go for it. Talk to Dan and forget Jack because although he may be new and exciting you have something with Dan that I bet you’ll regret not exploring further. You know I’m right.” Phil said, speaking so fast I could hardly keep up with him. I struggled to make sense of what he had just advised me to do.
“So you’re saying that I should talk to Dan about us, whatever we are, for about the millionth time? And you’re saying that this time some of our problems might actually be solved?” I asked, slowly decoding what Phil thought I should do.
“You have to DTR.” Honey said, gazing up at me through impossibly long lashes.
“DTR?” I questioned.
“Define the relationship. If you and Dan can DTR then you can finally move on or get back together, whichever you choose.” Honey’s pearls of wisdom were rare but precious. I thanked her.
“I’m going to do it.” I declared. “I’m going to DTR with Dan.”
“Keep us updated!” Honey said with a sweet smile before briskly leading Phil away from me and my complicated relationship status.
[AN: soz it took four million years to write. im a lazy fuck.]
