Don't Want To See You In The Next Life (Volume1)

Chapter 87

That night, Song Yan consciously made a bunk next to Xia Lin's bed and then fell asleep with his clothes on.

Xia Lin sat on the bed and watched him silently for a long while. He had already thought of several plans to kick Song Yan out of bed but Song Yan was so obedient that his plan was useless.

After a while, Song Yan snored slightly. This level of snoring originally did not affect Xia Lin's sleep. What's more, he had been accustomed to Song Yan's snores in his previous life but for some reason, his thoughts were troubled that night and he could not fall asleep.

The image of the mudslide from his last life flashed in his mind. He wanted to warn everyone but he no longer remembered the exact date of the incident. He was afraid that he was helpless and no one would believe it.

Thinking of this, he rolled over irritably and the bedboard suddenly creaked, awakening Song Yan who was sleeping. 

Song Yan looked up at the bed and asked in a slightly confused voice: "Xia Lin, you can't sleep in the bed here?"

"It's okay." 

Xia Lin didn't think that he was a delicate young master who had to recognize the bed where he slept. In his previous life, he came here because he was too tired to travel long distances and he almost fell asleep. 

Song Yan turned sideways in this direction and said, "If you can't sleep, I'll sing "Sleep Song" for you, okay?"

"..." 

Xia Lin wanted to habitually refuse but Song Yan had already begun to sing softly. 

"Sleep in peace, little baby, lilac and red rose, gently crawling into bed, accompany you to sleep..." 

His voice is soft and magnetic which is especially fascinating on a quiet night.

Xia Lin has to admit that he has no resistance to his voice. 

He first found out that he liked Song Yan because of the songs he sang. After the two got together, whenever Song Yan hugged him and gasped in his ear, he would be particularly emotional.

"Don't sing."

Xia Lin interrupted a little embarrassedly. He didn't want to admit that his heart that had been silent for a long time was agitated again on this summer night.

"Does it sound good?" Song Yan asked cautiously, "Then, should I change to another one?" 

"Don't change it. I don't want to listen." 

Song Yan fell silent.

After a while, Song Yan asked in a low voice, "Xia Lin, is it true that no matter what I do, it will only arouse your disgust? You can tell me what you don't like and I can change it."

Xia Lin said coldly: "To be honest, after living again, I found that you have a lot of things that I hate but what I hate the most is that you always do the same things you did to Yu Luotong to me. It makes me nauseous."

Song Yan was silent for a moment and then said in a low voice, "This is the first time I sang "Sleep Song" tonight. I have never sung it to anyone before." 

"...."

He glanced in Song Yan's direction. In the dark, he could clearly see the bright light on the screen of Song Yan's mobile phone. The lyrics displayed on it should be the lyrics of "Sleep Song" that he had just searched on Baidu.

Xia Lin silently retracted his gaze, wondering if it's rare for him to sing for me for the first time. 

Song Yan sighed and said: "Xia Lin, I am a person who is not very imaginative. There are only a few things I can think of to please people but I really want to be nice to you, not just pretending to be. "

Xia Lin didn't object to this. Song Yan liked Yu Luotong in his last life so he wholeheartedly pleased Yu Luotong. Although he was with him later, the feelings did not reach that point, he did not give him the same treatment as Yu Luotong.

That kind of treatment was originally what Xia Lin dreamed of but in this life, when this kind of treatment really fell on him, he didn't want it anymore and he didn't want to deceive himself anymore.

After a moment of silence, Xia Lin said quietly: "Song Yan, you do not love to me. Can't you see this now? Doesn't matter if it's the previous life or this life, you only regarded me as a substitute for Yu Luotong. The last life Yu Luotong had feelings for you and this life's Yu Luotong didn't. You missed it from the beginning, you just have no choice. What's more, you keep saying that you owe me and want to make up for me but love does not come by making up. Guilt is not the same as love, do you understand?"

"I understand." Song Yan said, "It's just that I understood it too late. I've missed you all my life when I arrived late." 

Xia Lin thought, no, you still don't understand.

But Song Yan went on to say: "After being reborn in this life, I repeatedly sorted out the memories of the two lives. The more I recall, the more clearly I understood that Luo Tong's mother died early in the previous life and his father did not go home all the year-round. Moreover, the trouble in the bar when we were seventeen did not only severely hurt his body, but also became a lingering fear and haze in his heart. He felt that he was abandoned by the whole world and he wanted to be desperate. He cut his wrist and committed suicide but I stopped him in time."

Xia Lin was taken aback. He didn't know the details of that incident, let alone that incident almost brought Yu Luotong to a dead end.

Song Yan continued: "After hearing what happened to him, I ran to find the beast to settle the account. You should also know what happened later. I was severely punished by the school. Luotong was both grateful and guilty to me. He said he wanted to repay me but he had nothing to give me except to promise me his self. At that time, I felt very uncomfortable in my heart, thinking that since no one in this world treats him well, I will protect him and become his for the rest of my life."

When Song Yan said this, he laughed at himself suddenly: "I always thought that Luo Tong loved me. I deceived myself for a lifetime. I didn't know until I was born again in this life. It turned out that it was not love. He was just caught in a desperate situation. When it comes to the life-saving part, whoever reaches out to him, he admires and depends on. The last life was me, and this life was you."