HOMEBODY | A Lil Durk Love Story

Track 6 : Trust

DURK

    Getting home, after a five hour drive away from Ohio, I felt drained. I didn't have enough energy to make myself something to eat, despite the fact that I was starving, let alone talk to anyone that day. I wasn't tired, like sleepy. I simply didn't have the energy. It wasn't a surprise when Royale greeted me in the living room while I pretended to watch TV.
    Whenever we had our disagreements, she always moved on like nothing happened. Last time, she booked us two weeks in Jamaica. All that happened was; we bumped heads about the fact that I haven't proposed yet was the topic of discussion in the media for about a week. I was standing by the fact that I can't control what people says about us and she was more concerned that I didn't do anything. I started coming home less, so she randomly booked us a trip in an attempt to force us to make up. I guess it worked, because India was conceived during that trip.
    This time, she used the media to her own advantage. The second she questioned my loyalty, she completely threw out hers and manipulated the one thing that was entirely capable of ending my career. Or start hers. But, she knows how to reel me back in. Every single time. And, it always starts with a greeting.
    "Hey, baby." She said. She walked pass to the kitchen, opening the fridge. My mind was busy racing with thoughts, and I was definitely still upset with her.
    "Wassup." I said. I pulled out my phone to pretend I was busy doing something other than be interested in talking.
    "Well, I think we should have a date night. Tonight." She walked in with two wine glasses and a bottle of champagne.
    "What's this for?"
    "We're celebrating." She said with grin.
    "Celebrating what?"
     "You.. us.. and the show." She popped off the top and filled our glasses.
    "We're not doing the show anymore." I said with a chuckle.
    "What do you mean?"
     "Are you not aware of what happened this morning?"
    "Yeah, because of what you did last night. So, your point is?" I leaned back and took a deep breath. That was the conversation I didn't have the energy for. "Oh, so you're mute again? How come you couldn't just tell me you were signing a woman to your label? What was the big secret?!" She picked her glass up and drank it's entirety. Then, she poured another glass. "You know... I don't care."
    "Well, If I knew you'd act like a child about it, I probably would've told you to prevent this." She blinked a couple times and her eyes widened— Slamming her glass on the table.
    "A child, really?" Her cheeks we're starting to turn red, It was time to end the conversation.
    "Never mind.." I stood up, as did she. She crossed her arms and looked me in the eyes.
    "Sit down." She said, firmly. "I had enough of the miscommunication and being left in the dark. If you want this relationship to work, I need to trust you. That requires honesty, and atleast half an effort to respect me and my opinion. If you couldn't give a fuck about it, I think it's best you leave. And do it, today."
    "Royale, what are you talking about? Just because I didn't tell you I was signing somebody to MY label, I don't respect you and your opinion? Are you serious right now?!"
    "Imma ask you this once, and one time only. Why didn't you tell me?"
    "Why do I need to consult with YOU about who I sign to MY label?"
    "No, Why didn't you tell me about HER?! You know, the bitch you were flirting with on live."
    "Are you hearing yourself right now?"
    "So, now I'm delusional? Why can't you just tell the truth?"
    "Oh, you wanna know the truth? Mona Scott and her team asked me to be on Love and Hip Hop : Chicago. In order to ensure I had a solid position, I was to give them an exclusive to enhance my storyline. Can you guess what they asked me to do? Or do I need to spill that out for you too?" She stumble over her next words, but I continued to talk. "If I don't sign her, there's no show for me. If there's no show for me, then there's no show for you. You ruined everything this morning. Congratulations, you played yourself."
    "But why? I-I don't understand-"
    "What do you mean why? You tell me why you-"
    "No, you said if you don't sign HER. Not just any female artist, you were specific. Why her? Did they suggest her, was this the plan to start drama, or is there something you're not telling me about her?" In that moment, she was confident that her suspicions were correct. I was stunned, I didn't expect her to be so determined. She had me cornered, but telling her the truth would've been worse than actually cheating on her. It certainly felt like I already did.
    "You looking way to deep into it. She's just the artist I picked last night and I didn't even get the chance to push the paperwork. It'll be nearly impossible to sign anyone else, now. The meeting is tomorrow morning. I'll have to tell them I can't take the offer." I said. She nodded and stood up.
    "This could've all been avoided had you talked to me first. But instead, you got me looking stupid on the internet." She marched to the room and I followed her. Every attempt to grab her failed and she was now avoiding eye contact.
    "How I'm making you look stupid on the internet when you're the one who embarrassed me?"
    "You don't think what you did was embarrassing to me?"
    "How could it be? I didn't record you sleeping half naked!"
    "LOOK!" She pulled out her phone and showed me a clip from my live video with Caly. Royale's eyes were watering and turning red the longer the video played, but she kept her eyes on me. "Durk, I know you." She locked her screen and put  it back in her pocket. Her head shook from side to side, slowly. "I'm not delusional. I'm not crazy. I saw the way you looked at her. I felt a part of me brake when you completely lost your train of thought by just the sight of her. I just know there's something more. "
    "Royale, I just met her last night. It's not that serious."
    "Oh, it's not?" She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "The last time you looked at me like that, you were still working a nine to five. But, I'll leave it alone." She attempted to walk pass me but I pulled her close to me.
    "Baby, I love you just as much as I did when we first met. It's me and you for the long ride, remember?" I kissed her forehead and she looked down as she pulled away.
    "Yeah, me too. But, who said anything about love?" A tear rolled from her left eye and she walked away.