Goodbye My Delusion | TXT Beomgyu

26

"I had no idea Beomgyu's roommate would be a TXT fan," Taehyun says. He makes long strides toward the supermarket, pass the looming offices and buildings of Gangnam.

I can't help but release a nervous laugh. "Is it a blessing or a curse?"

Taehyun wears a grin. "A little bit of both. Mostly a blessing, because we knew that you'd treat Beomgyu kindly."

I sigh. "Until now. I really messed things up, Taehyun."

Taehyun makes an X with his hands. "Don't say that, Jayden. I know Beomgyu, and he won't stay mad at you for long. Just wait until after our cake party. Everything will be back to normal."

Back to normal. I'm not sure if my life will return to the happy obliviousness that I experienced in my first week at Hankuk. With Naomi and Joyce, and Beomgyu's obvious disappointment in me, I'm not sure whether Taehyun is just trying to cheer me up. I can't let his efforts go to vain though, so I force a smile on my face and try to match his long strides.

"You don't have to fake anything," Taehyun says. "I can tell you want to cry, not smile."

I nearly stumble next to him. Leave it to the wisest member of TXT to call out my bullshit. "I'm sorry. I just want to be happy here—when all of you guys are spending your precious time to fix my relationship with Beomgyu."

"Just cry if you want to cry," Taehyun says. "A smile will come naturally later on. If my calculations are right, Beomgyu will forgive you today. Just you wait."

I walk in silence, taking off my mask of a smile. Beside Taehyun, I can rest. The quietness between us is anything but uncomfortable. Rather, I find belonging in Taehyun's easy gait and his little hand motions to direct us to the supermarket. I realize that I desperately needed a friend like Taehyun back when I was in high school—when I was quiet and insecure, not saying a word for fear of judgement or being disliked. Taehyun would've sat next to me at lunch and not care that I had a hard time speaking out. In my little Christian school, I can imagine him telling me stories and befriending me through lab assignments and study halls.

"We're here," Taehyun announces. We turn into a supermarket that must be around the size of a football field. The place has everything imaginable, from freshly baked goods to toothpaste to Jeju tangerine juice.

Taehyun leads me expertly to the party section of the market. We pick out a few birthday hats, along with paper plates, streamers, and balloons. We head to the checkout line. Just like Beomgyu, Taehyun insists upon paying. When I take out my credit card, he practically smacks the thing out of my hand. "Put that away," he says. "I'll treat you to this party. Besides, I owe you for making Beomgyu's summer school experience so fun."

"Are you sure I'm doing so?" I ask, still doubtful of myself.

Taehyun rolls his eyes. "Jayden, it's pretty obvious that Beomgyu is his happiest self around you. He likes your quietness, your pureness and genuineness. You match him well. He needs someone calm like you to balance him out."

As we check out, I admire Taehyun's ability to read through the lines. "Beomgyu must be glad to have you as a friend too," I say. "He's surrounded by guys that really value him. I hope you guys never stop being a team."

"We'll be a team until we're old and dry," Taehyun says. "Some people are meant to be together. Our team is a good example of that."

As we exit the supermarket, party supplies in hand, a breath of courage enters my lungs. "Taehyun, can I ask you something? I want you to give me an honest answer."

"Of course," he says. "I'm always honest."

I take a deep breath, expecting the worst. Taehyun does have the reputation of speaking bluntly. "Do you think Beomgyu and I will remain friends after the summer session?" I ask. "Do you think I'll remain friends with you all?"

Taehyun pauses in his step. I stop next to him. We're between a luxury clothing shop and a jeweler advertising the most precise cuts of diamond. "That depends."

My heart sinks. "It depends?"

Taehyun gives me an honest assessment, staring right at my core. "It depends on you. Will you make the effort to stay friends with Beomgyu and the rest of us? If so, we'll return your friendship. It's quite simple, really."

As we continue on the trek back to the BigHit company building, I'm in awe of Taehyun and his wisdom. It's true, isn't it? What I give to others, I'll receive back—it's one of the simple facts of life.

"Thank you, Taehyun," I say, as we ascend the elevator back to TXT's studio.

"Don't mention it," he says. "Just repay me by treating Beomgyu kindly. He's a sensitive one."