Clock [HaruKyu FF]

Chapter 4

Third POV

The bamboo scent that Junkyu remember from his previous visit was gone. He now could smell chamomile inside the room. The scent lingers on his nose, make him feel calm the more he took a deep breath.

Instrumental music was played on the background. Low bass tone, piano and guitar were layered to create relaxing experience. Junkyu's heart beating on the same pace as the bass.

"Junkyu-ssi, shall we start?" Asked Dr. Lee. Junkyu nodded. He wasn't sure if Dr. Lee catch his nod as he was laying down on the long chair with closed eyes.

"Great. Do you mind telling me what did you do for the past three days?" Dr. Lee start the session. It was important to observe Junkyu progress through his daily life.

"Umm.. I went to a restaurant after I left the medical center, after that I went back home and working on my music. The next day I went to visit my parents with my boyfriend, we spent the day there and came back at night. The day after I'm just stay at home, working on my music." Answered Junkyu.

"Anything crossed your mind while you eat at the restaurant?" Asked Dr. Lee

"Doenjang jjigae. It reminds me of my mom." Junkyu chuckled when he remember how Haruto choked on his food.

"Seems like there was something funny happened at the restaurant." Dr. Lee caught a smile on Junkyu's face. He was ready to write down his response on his clipboard.

"Oh. My boyfriend choked on his food when I told him my parents wanted to meet him. I don't know why he was that shocked tho. But he said he was worried my parents won't like him." Said Junkyu, pouting from his own response. Dr. Lee smirked quietly.

"I see. What about when you visit your parents? Anything memorable happened?"

"My boyfriend was shocked when he saw my house. That was funny. It was also funny when I saw him so damn nervous to see my parents. I never saw him that nervous, he was the confident type of guy, cold, and straight on his face. So it's kind of amuse me to saw him like that. And.." Junkyu's cheerful expression changed on his sudden paused.

"Something made you sad?" Asked Dr. Lee noticing Junkyu smile went down to a frown.

"Oh. For the first time I heard my boyfriend talked about his family, because my dad asked about it." Said Junkyu. He took a deep breath, feeling heavy on his chest.

"Junkyu-ssi, I'm here to listen. How do you feel when you heard him talking about your family?" Dr. Lee leaned closer to Junkyu, observing his eyes movement.

"I felt disappointed, angry and sad. I felt disappointed because he never told me about it, he never told me how hard his life was. It's not as if I'm going to leave him because of his past. I will still love him. But for him to hide it from me, doesn't it mean he didn't trust me?!" Said Junkyu. His breathing rhythm changed it wasn't as calm as before. Dr. Lee wrote a note.

"He didn't trust how deep my feelings for him. How many more secrets he kept from me just because he didn't trust me?! Part of me also think maybe he didn't tell me because he doesn't want me to get involved with his private life, because I was nothing to him." Junkyu continued. Tears falling down on his cheeks. The same reason why he cried at his house.

"But I'm also sad because he had to go through all that by himself. If only I met him earlier. If only I was there when he experienced that. He won't be alone. I saw his face when my mom hugged him. I saw how lonely he was, how he longed for his mom. But I'm not his mom, how could I give him that?! How could I fill his mom presence when I'm just his boyfriend. When I'm just nothing.." Junkyu sighed at the end of his words.