SoMS:2 (Jenlisa)

thirteen

Jennie

Dr. Dara's session today was difficult for me. It's not often that I like to uncover old wounds, but in order to fix things properly between Lisa and I, it's only fair that I expose her to my childhood in the hopes that she can better understand me.

"Let's go back in time to say, when you were 10,11. What was your home situation like Jennie, were you close to your parents?" Dara watched me like a hawk, her fingers practically itching to write something down in that stupid striped notebook.

"I guess. Both of them worked a lot but always left me enough money for food and games. As an only child, pizza and a console were all I really needed."

"You didn't think you necessarily needed care and attention from your parents?"

"I got satisfaction from doing things I enjoyed, like painting and playing guitar. Mom and Dad just did what they had to do, it never bothered me much."

"So, when you moved away to New Zealand for school, no part of you was worried about homesickness?"

I was unsure how to answer. All these questions are making me have to think back to teenage Jennie, a time I'd much rather leave behind. "I don't know. I remember feeling nervous, obviously. But probably more about going to a brand new country and school, not so much about flying the nest."

"As we covered last session, Lalisa's parents, especially her Mother, kept her upbringing rigid and structured until very recently. For you, however, it appears to be the opposite. Since graduating and as you've moved throughout adulthood, do you keep in regular contact with your parents?"

"I wouldn't say regular." The thought of conversing with my parents even monthly is a concept alien to me. "I call them every Christmas we're apart and they'll text me happy birthday. That's about it."

"Has the 'arms length' method of parenting you were brought up with, influenced the way you contribute to raising Luca at all?" Dr. Dara gestured to Lili as well, keen to get her involved. "Lalisa, as usual, feel free to chip in if you have something to add."

I looked over at Lis only to find her staring straight back at me. Her smile was gentle though, encouraging me to go ahead.

"I mostly look to Lisa for guidance when I'm unsure of how to parent. It's all still incredibly new to me. I don't want to overstep any boundaries, yet on the other hand, I still want him to respect me. Hopefully I'm more attentive than my parents were. They worked a lot, as do I, but I try my hardest to fit in time to bond with Luca. I'll take him to matches, pick him up from school, we'll go on shopping trips, we hang out a lot in my attic studio just painting. Little things to establish bonding and trust. Stuff that my parents never did with me."

Lisa probably sensed my sadness and took pity, snaking her arm around my waist. "I agree, Jen's great with the kids." She gave me a discreet squeeze that had me blushing. "The stability she's provided Luca ever since we left his Dad, is exactly the kind of support he needs as a growing boy. I couldn't be prouder of them both."

"Jennie," Dr. Dara began, "It seems you've fit in nicely to create a stable family dynamic. Is this always something you envisioned for yourself?"

"Yes, and then for a while no, but now I'm certain that this is what I want. It's probably what my parents wanted for me too, except, more in a traditional way."

"By that I assume you mean with a husband?"

"Unfortunately." I rolled my eyes, remembering how my Dad reacted when I came out to them at the tender age of 13. "But they're accepting of me now, as far as I know. Most queer people don't get so lucky, at least in that respect my parents did one thing right."