Lost in the pages

Need to apologize

"You both need to wash before dinner" Constance said walking around the chair her husband was sitting in and coming to pick up the kettle of hot water from the range

"Of course," D'artaganan smiled before walking from the room. Constance poured water into a bowl next to her Husband and she went to walk after D'artaganan

"Let Estelle take him water" Charles said looking up at Constance "She has no husband; he might be a good fit for her" I pulled a face and Constance looked at me

"I do not need a man to be in my life" I said walked over to Constance "but I will take the water to him" 

I took the kettle and walked from the room listening to Charles telling Constance that D'artaganan was wearing his welcome thin by the way he looked at her and that she should talk to me and tell me that no one likes an old maid.

I knocked on D'artagnan's door and waited until he pulled it open with a broad smile and shirtless to the waist; his face fell a little when he saw I was standing there.

"Estelle, I was..." I put my finger up and moved around him and filled the bowl on the small table in there with the water

"I know you were expecting Constance" I whispered "but you two both are so obvious" I put the kettle next to the bowl

"Where did you go?" he came over to me "We searched for you. Athos was so angry; and why is Constance saying that you are her cousin?"

"It's hard to explain" I chewed my lip "And Constance was good enough to help me for a while. It was easier for her to tell her husband that I was family" I picked the kettle back up "He suspects that there is something going on between the two of you, maybe you should be careful"

"I love her Estelle; she should not be with a man like Bonacieux" He sat on the edge of his bed and pushed his hands through his hair

"I know but she is, and you just need to maybe find another place to live"

"Then I will not see her, I cannot do that" he said looking up at me with a look of almost despair

"Alright, who knows he's old he may just forget he's married or worse" I walked out of the room and back into the main room of the house

"So how do you find our Musketeer?" Charles smirked at me "Did he loosen your corset?"

"CHARLES" Constance gasped "Do not speak to Estelle like that"

"It's alright Constance" I smiled at her "Would you like me to serve dinner?"

"I'll help you" she came across to me as D'artaganan came into the room. Dinner was strained to say the least, but Charles drank until he fell into a deep sleep and D'artaganan and Constance put him into bed.

I sat on the chair and looked into the flames of the fire and nursed the cup of wine in my hand. This was insane being here but it felt comfortable, when D'artaganan had mentioned Athos I had actually gotten a knot in my stomach.

 I thought of the missed opportunity that my Grandmother had passed up with Gawain, I had to at least try to see if this would work as crazy as the whole idea was.

"You look lost in your thoughts" D'artaganan said coming back into the room

"I am a little" I nodded "Where's Constance?"

"Taking off his Boots" He sat down and tipped his head and looked at me "You had us all concerned"

"There wasn't any need" I shook my head "None of you really knew me"

"Doesn't mean that we didn't worry" he offered me a friendly smile Constance came into the room

"Is he asleep?" I asked

"Oh he will be out until morning" She sat down and sighed "He likes to drink to unconsciousness; but it means I do not have to be touched by him" I watched the nerve in D'artagnan's cheek twitch

"Why don't you leave him?"

"I can't do that" She shook her head "My family would be disgraced and I would be seen as a whore" D'artaganan reached for her hand and squeezed it

"I would take you away from here and no one would know us" He said looking at her with love

"Really, all you have ever wanted was to be a musketeer and that is your life" she smiled at him "One day we will be together" the love between them was obvious and it was heartbreaking that she couldn't do anything about it. "We should go to the tavern and find the others, Let them see that Estelle is here"

"Good Idea maybe then Athos will become tolerable" D'artaganan chuckled. I felt like I wanted to be sick with nerves as Constance went and grabbed two cloaks and handed one to me

"Are you sure?" I asked

"Yes" She nodded "Lets get out of here for a while" the three of us walked through the streets of Paris until we reached a tavern that was close to the gates of the Garrison. "You're shaking"

"I'm just a little chilly" I lied;  I had gotten more and more nervous the closer we had got

"Well it's warm inside" D'artaganan said opening the door the noise of chatter and laughter poured out as we stepped inside. I was glad that my hood was up as I followed Constance and D'artaganan to the far corner of the Tavern

"D'artaganan, We did not expect to see you tonight" I remembered the sound of Porthos's voice

"Well I have something for you all, well more for Athos" he turned around and put his hand in the small of my back and drew me forward. I reached up and pushed back the hood on my cloak

"Estelle" Athos gasped stopping with the tankard halfway to his mouth. I didn't know what to say, He slowly put his drink down his eyes wide.

"Well it is good to see you again" Aramis smiled lifting my hand and kissing it "You truly worried us"

"I'm sorry, It was something that was out of my control" I felt Athos looking at me and the heat crept up my face, everyone looked at him and then at me

"Sorry we are being rude" Porthos nudged Athos "Take a seat"

"Excuse me" Athos got up and strode across the tavern

"Well that went well" Aramis sighed

"I will go and apologize to him" Constance squeezed my hand

 I move away from them and out in to the city street, I looked around and caught sight of the edge of his cloak disappearing around the corner toward the Garrison. I took a deep breath and lifted the skirts of my dress and hurried after him.