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4 hours later: I closed up the shop with Hosa seeing Eun left before close. She asked curiously "so when can we meet Jeongin?" I hummed while locking the door "in a couple of months after their tour" She gasped "you have to be away from Jeongin for that long?!" I nodded disappointed "yeah sadly I do..it'll feel like it did before I met him, it took me to meet someone so fun to realise how boring my life was before I met them.." She nodded "now you know how fun life is now" I huffed "yeah..well cya!" Hosa grinned "cya! I'll let you know when I'm free and we'll hang out" I chuckled "sounds fun!"
I got home feeling..bored and not as excited as I was to get home the past 3 days.. I was excited to see Jeongin's cute face, I was excited to go to sleep and have someone to cuddle.
I got into my pajamas and got in bed trying to get to sleep, I looked at the empty side of my bed where Jeongin slept.. I sighed missing him, it hasn't even been all those months yet but I already miss him.. Seeing I can't see him in person I looked at pictures of him on my phone..creepy right? I suddenly felt sleepy so I drifted into a deep sleep.
I woke up to be excited to see Jeongin but..oh right, I forgot he isn't here.. Their going on the flight in a week and he has no free time, I can't see him in the morning because he has to get ready and I can't see him at midday because he's obviously practicing and I can't see him at night because he'll be going to sleep early for rest and energy for practice..
I got out an old book I bought last year and never used, I thought I'd use it to get all of my thoughts out.. I opened the to the first page and wrote the date and began writing. 'Dear diary, this is my first page and I would like to give a nice introduction of myself. I am Chai Wan a girl who had a boring normal life until she met 8 humorous and caring boys also known as Stray Kids. I would like to get one thing out the way, I have feelings for Yang Jeongin also referred to as I.N. Me and him have built a bond and I really like him. He likes me as well the thing is..I don't think he's ready..
He seems to be very nervous when I bring up the subject, the other night we were talking before we went to sleep and I asked how he'd deal with being in a relationship with me. He seemed not ready and he just nodded and said "I think I'd be a good boyfriend' I just don't think he's ready, he's been in one relationship before me but he never told me about it. I've been in two relationships before him. My ex stories: My first exes name was Luke, he was very nice and sweet I really liked him it was a great relationship but the thing was he said he didn't think I was the one..we were only 15 years old and he broke up with me because he said he likes cute sweet girls, so whenever someone calls me cute I don't believe them just because of what Luke said.
My other ex is the one me and Jeongin ran into at a noodle shop. His name was Jang and he was a year older than me, we met through school and dated from the age of 18 until he was twenty and I was 19. He was a bully at our school and he was quite rude sometimes, one night I went out with my friends to a party and I got home to see the house was dark and him doing the deed with my fake best friend on the couch. So I dumped his sorry ass.
I never told Jeongin the full story I just told him he cheated on me for my friend. I really miss Jeongin life sucks without him and the thought of being away from him for around 4 months is going to kill me. I hope I'll get to call him or something.. Anyways diary thanks for listening to my boring thoughts, I'll write in you whenever something actually interesting happens..with stray kids not around it'll probably be boring.
I get up from my seat to find a message from the one and the only Yang Jeongin.
Dolphin Jeongin 🐬 Hey cutie, what are you up to?
Chai Wan Hey! I'm not doing anything interesting just writing, I miss you already ☹️
Dolphin Jeongin 🐬 I miss you too..we're leaving in a week now I don't wanna leave!
Chai Wan Don't let me stay in your mind, you've got important performances to do for stay, don't let your fans down all because of a girl.
Dolphin Jeongin 🐬 It's hard to not be distracted by you when your all I think about generally.
Chai Wan I can't stop thinking about you as well but the less you think of me the quicker these 4 months will pass
Dolphin Jeongin 🐬 Good point, oh I gtg
Chai Wan Okay, love you!
Dolphin Jeongin Love you too!
It feels so good to message Jeongin knowing that it's him I'm speaking to, I love him the more I talk to him. It's impossible to not love him, his adorable smile, his adorable laugh, his adorable humour, his adorable face, he's just adorable in general. I've never missed a person as much as I miss him, it's almost like I feel that he's going to forget about me while he's on tour and he's just going to never talk to me again.
What if the way I thought he looked at me wasn't actually how he viewed me.. I imagine that I'm a girl that loves him and he loves me too and we're inseparable but what if he looks at me as a girl he just met online and a good friend? He said he loved me, he said he'd wait..but when he said wait did he mean he'd wait 4 months?
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