Esmeralda

Chapter 17

"Do I even have the right to feel this way?"

Esmeralda stared at the wall while she sat down to think about what's going on between her and Xerxes. It was the next day but what happened with Jules and Dexter was still stuck in her mind.

They might end up like that sooner than she anticipated. She groaned and messed up her hair in frustration.

She doesn't feel like she has the right to complain. Having a person who could make you feel a different kind of love should be so touching and lovely but this wasn't it.

She threw a pillow at the wall to release her irritation. Her eyes went bigger than usual realizing that she doesn't act like this, she wasn't the kind of person to be violent and a guy is making her do that.

"We aren't even together and I'm already so dramatic about it," she thought talking to herself through her mind.

The girl who is so sure that she doesn't know if she likes him is being like this. He's in her mind pretty often for a person who supposedly has a chance she didn't like.

She facepalmed while walking down to grab some water. Her brother was confused looking at her so she raised an eyebrow playfully and he went back to answering his assignments.

It was bizarre how water can clear your mind but it worked, she's going to say screw her situation with Xerxes. Sure, he's been sending tons of messages which were too sweet for her liking but still, it was much appreciated.

People might say she's taking her time and she would agree. She has to wait for her anxiety to not be at the forefront of her mindset so when she decides, she won't blame it on her mental health.

That's so bad she sighed. She's quite tough for a person who has an undiagnosed mental illness, she'll say thank you for all her experiences if it weren't for the trauma.

She would never choose to be in her shoes.

He's been letting her think about it for a while now and he didn't bother her at all except for school work. She responded to him being civil about it, they were still classmates and she knew he wasn't really the brightest among all of them.

She's going to admit that she was so shocked when he asked for help, guys would usually rather struggle with themselves rather than ask for assistance especially from a girl but that's why stereotypes are only stereotypes.

He brought a smile to her face when he swallowed his pride. It was a nice feeling that someone trusts you enough to go to you in time of need.

Maybe she's going to have a decision after all. He just has to be patient enough to wait for her to be ready.

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September 15, Tuesday

"Have you decided anything yet?"

"It's been a week"

Jules spoke to her after being absent since their incident on the top floor. She wasn't online either on any social media platforms. Jules' mom ordered her to stay home to reflect and stop her from doing anything to herself. She just got to school today.

Esmeralda looked at her friend, everyone else might think she's fine now but it's obvious to her that she's just pretending. She obviously wanted to show Dexter that it doesn't affect her anymore but she knows she does care about him and what went on between them.

"You guys are still not talking?"

She heard Jules say as she was coming back to reality after zoning out and observing her friend. She tilted her head in response.