Developments // Jenlisa

Twelve

She starts sleeping in Jennie's bed again.

She just wants to help more. She said that she wanted to look after Jennie and that shouldn't stop now. Jennie needs her more than ever.

She handles the night feeds as much as she can with Jennie breastfeeding. Jennie doesn't really care that Lisa spends random intervals throughout the night manhandling her chest and attaching Lila to her boobs. Lisa doesn't question it either. She doesn't really understand how anyone is able to sleep through nursing a baby, so she just leans up on her elbow and keeps an eye on Lila as she feeds so that Jennie can rest.

It's worth all the exhaustion she feels at work when she gets there. The constant waking up every couple of hours is worth it, especially on the days when there's nowhere she needs to be.

Those are the days when she enjoys it most, when she doesn't let her eyes drift closed so she can rest them. Those are the days when she watches Lila and smiles when Lila looks back at her with big eyes. Those are the days when she indulges herself and lets her eyes skate over the new changes of Jennie's body too, her softer face and her curves. She smells just as lovely as Lila does, that soft, powdery freshness of baby skin, and Lisa finds her nose burying into the skin of her shoulder without even realizing, just to smell her.

She doesn't feel like nobody when she's like this, when she's waking up beside Jennie and smiling at Lila. It doesn't matter to her that no one can see it, that it's theirs-just for them and private-because that means no one can try and take it from her and make it meaningless. No one can take from her the mornings when Lila's feeding at five am and the sun's coming up and she looks like an angel. They can't take away the always-shocked look from Jennie's face when she wakes up and sees her there. They can't take away Jennie's sleepy smiles or the way that she shifts a little until she can pull Lisa into her side. They can't take the kisses Jennie always presses to her forehead before she falls back to sleep, because all those things belong to Lisa and Lila only.

These moments belong to the three of them and, when they're in them, they're the most important thing in the world.

//

"My manager wants me to make a statement," Jennie says one morning when Lisa's dozing off beside her.

Lisa opens her eyes and, for what feels like the millionth time since Lila's birth, has to take in a deep breath to steady herself at the sight of her.

She's been looking better recently, less tired. But when she's like this-with her hair around her face in waves, wearing nothing more than her Calvin Klein underwear and cotton bathrobe, as she snuggles into her pillow and nurses Lila-she looks like the most beautiful thing on the planet. Her eyes are tired and dark. Her lips are blushed pink. There's a soft, gummy smile on her face and, as she lies on her side facing Lisa, Lisa feels like she's got the best spot in the world.

"What?" she says, realizing she's suddenly forgotten what Jennie said, too swept up in her own fantasies looking at her.

Jennie smirks knowingly and strokes hand over Lila's back. "A statement," Jennie repeats. "My manager wants me to make one."

"Saying what?"

"Announcing the birth of my daughter," she laughs softly. "Apparently people are interested in stuff like that and apparently there are rumors."

"There wouldn't be if you'd let Chaeng tell everyone like she wanted to," Lisa comments.

Jennie snorts and reaches over to flick her on the shoulder. "Now who hates Instagram?"

Lisa scrunches up her nose and rubs at her shoulder. "I still hate Instagram," she says. "I just think that it's better than forcing you to make a statement to people who don't matter. I think that your manager is a complete ass who doesn't know what he's doing and just wants to bring more attention to you by forcing you to do things you don't have to. Does the media matter?"

Jennie smirks again and then shifts on the bed until her and Lila both end up closer.

"No," she shakes her head.

Lisa doesn't account for the way that the sincerity in Jennie's voice makes her heart skip a beat. She moves closer to her because of it. "And who does matter?"

"You," she says with a teasing smile. Lisa feels her cheeks go pink. "You, and Lila, and my friends and family... The fans that I have left, I guess."

Lisa flicks her on the shoulder but does it gently. She doesn't mean to end up with her hand on Jennie's waist but does anyway. She leaves it there, just because, and goes on. It's comfortable. "That's what I was getting at: your fans. They're important and, as much as Instagram or Twitter or whatever are the most annoying things in the world, you can access them through it. If you don't want Chaeng to post about it, you can."

Jennie rolls her eyes. "I haven't posted in months, not since everyone started using every single damn thing I said as ammo against me."

"So? We're not doing it for those people, we're doing it for everyone else," Lisa laughs. "If they just so happen to see it too, who cares? I told you: no one should keep something this beautiful a secret."

Jennie shakes her head even though she's smiling widely. "Get my phone," she comments and then she pulls Lila away from her chest, making her fuss, before sitting up against the pillows. Lisa wordlessly hands her the nursing pillow and the phone. "Take my picture," she says, giving it back. "And make it good."

"Well," Lisa says softly, her eyebrow raised. "You've currently got your boobs out so how can it be anything but good?"

Jennie looks down before quickly covering up the side of her chest Lila isn't using. Lisa pulls the covers up around them and rocks back on her heels before carefully making sure they look their most perfect and snapping a picture. She hands it to Jennie and Jennie looks at it approvingly before handing it back.

Lisa laughs. "Yeah, whatever," she says and then hands it back to a laughing Jennie. "I wouldn't even know how if I tried."

"So inept," Jennie comments idly and doesn't say anything when Lisa falls to rest against her shoulder and watches as she sends out the Instagram story.

She scrolls through her stories first. Lisa laughs when she sees that their friends are currently replying to each other with cute pictures of them with their pets as they wake up. Lisa rolls her eyes and glances up at her to find Jennie grinning.

"Really?" she says.

Jennie laughs. "Sue me. I'm an opportunist."

I win, she types as a caption to the picture before adding the usernames of Irene, Chaeng, Chahee, Joy and Jisoo. She sends it and within about two minutes, the internet is exploding.

Jennie watches her phone with rapt attention while Lisa takes a now snoozing Lila from her. Jennie hands her the nursing pillow and the burping cloth and smiles when Lisa props Lila over her shoulder to burp her.

"Irene says it's a crappy picture because you can't even see her," Jennie laughs. "Maybe people like babies more than boobs."

"Definitely," Lisa giggles and tries to hand Lila back. "Do you want me to take another one?"

Jennie shrugs. "Why don't I just take one of her like that?" she says nervously.

Lisa pauses and gulps. "With me?"

"I mean... she's over your shoulder and everything?" Jennie asks quietly, her cheeks coloring. "Is that a problem?"

Lisa shakes her head and shifts forward.

A moment later, Jennie takes the picture.