When no one believes, believe in yourself.

Chap 10

Lxc started going to the Cafe frequently. He'd order something and do his assignments sometimes. He just wanted to stay near the younger man. They sometimes talk when lxc was late to go home and Jwy was ending his shift. They walk together to the campus gates from where lxc takes his car and goes to his apartment which he shares with his brother.

Lxc saw him near the hospital nearly a month after he collapsed. Lxc also entered the hospital thinking he'd ask ywy about his health. But to his surprise ywy was asking about the psychiatry ward. Lxc went after him and saw him entering a psychiatrist's office. He didn't know what to do and thought ywy might not appreciate it so he went to his apartment.

Ywy was having difficulty with managing studies, lack of sleep and work ,also he started having excruciating pains after those nightmares. So he decided to seek professional help. He knew his mind was fucked up so he went to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist asked him different questions about his pain and told him he is having them because of the nightmares but didn't go into the details.

Psychiatrist tried to get him to open up but he wasn't ready so he was told that he can tell at his own pace. But he might be having PTSD and to cure him dr needs to know about the history. It's part of the therapy. And he assured wanyin anything he talks about with his therapist will be kept inside the room and it's the hospital's policy not to publicize or give information of their patients to anyone. He was told to take his time to think and get an appointment for next week.

Ywy started to work online as he was having difficulty managing finances with the added expense of a psychiatrist and medicines for his insomnia, also it was a good time pass for him when he couldn't sleep after nightmares and doesn't have anything to study. It's been 6 months since he joined Gusu university, and the first semester ended recently. Most of the students are gone for a two weeks break, to their home. Even lxc is gone to spend time with his uncle and brother, lwj which he found out was music major. He picked up double shifts from the cafe and got more projects to complete for online work. That way he can save up enough money to have reserved funds in case of emergency. And he can also be busy.

The phantom pains he was having has increased in the past months so he started telling his therapist his story from the start. He was at the point where his father kicked him out and he found work at a construction sight. He knows he had to tell the therapist about that night so he has not been going to his appointments since last month, but he knew he had to do that or he won't be able to do anything properly anymore, as the PTSD was turning from mind to body.

Also he remembered mrs. Huang's words that he shouldn't give those people the satisfaction of seeing him ruined. So, he booked an appointment for next week and resolved to tell everything he remembers about that night.
___________

It's the middle of his second semester and he doesn't know how he ended up befriending lxc of all people. Ywy knows it's because he knows the older man was kind since childhood.

Ywy remembers meeting lxc when he was 11, a few times, on business parties held for elites of the country. He met the lans there when he went with his parents and siblings. Lxc never followed wei-that boy, and talked and played with ywy instead. Ywy doesn't even know they are friends at this point because he doesn't understand the concept of friendship.

Ywy was topping his classes because of his hard work and intelligence. But his health is declining because of his ptsd, and lxc notices. He asked wanyin if he's sleeping well, is he alright but wanyin always says he is fine and doesn't say anything else.

He collapsed thrice during his second semester. Lxc only knows about one incident. And summer break is here but with summer break, There comes renovation and construction plans of university.

LThe university told them to evacuate dorms but ywy had nowhere to go, also there's difficulty in renting a place. So lxc found ywy in the admin office asking if he could stay at the dorms but he was denied. Lxc saw him leaving the office and hurried after him to ask his friend what was bothering him.
Lxc: wanyin.
Ywy: yes? *flinches a bit at closeness*
Lxc: *stopped at a distance seeing him flinch* I'm sorry to bother you but I overheard you in the office. You don't have a place to stay during the summer?
Ywy: yes i don't. But I'll try to rent some place.
Lxc: don't you have to go back to your home?
Ywy: home?
Lxc: yes. Where you came from, I mean.
Ywy: I don't have a home. I was renting my previous place.
Lxc: Oh sorry to assume. Where are you planning to rent?
Ywy: nearby. I still have my job at the cafe. I'll just pick a double shift or night shift somewhere. The pay will be enough, for the rent, I guess.
Lxc: I have a spare room at my apartment if you want.
Ywy: are you renting?
Lxc: No. But if you want it you can move there.
Ywy: thank you lxc. But I wouldn't want to intrude.
Lxc: you won't be. You are welcomed or else I wouldn't have offered.
Ywy: thanks for the offer. But I still want a place near the cafe.
Lxc: oh ok. But if you want it the offer still stands ok?
Ywy: I'll remember it. Thank you.
Lxc: no need.

Then they both go on their own way. Ywy didn't want to bother lxc. He knows the older man is too kind and he doesn't want to disturb him with his issues. Also he knows it's not a shared community and it's flaring his insecurities.