The Reckless Reign (Book 3, The Culled Crown Series)

Chapter 53

The Needle's Edge.
Gazda, Erydia.
Morning.

I wish I could say that the morning did seem brighter, but it did not. We were sequestered away in what had to have once been a very large storage room, but was now a makeshift safe house for some of the rebels in Gazda. The space was small when divided amongst so many restless people. It was essentially two rooms—a bathing room with a tub, toilet, and a broken sink; and a larger room holding a table, chairs, six bunk beds, and a few thin cots.

And, as Mim had said, there was an old wood heater. That was my saving grace. With no windows and no exit, save for the ladder leading up into the shop, I was more than just upset—I was a caged animal. I barely slept that first night. Even with the cold and bone deep exhaustion, I was too anxious to do much other than toss and turn.

At some point before bed, Nadia had asked what was wrong and I hadn't had the courage to tell her. I didn't want to see her expression when she heard that news. What if they'd been right all along and Kai really had been manipulating all of us...including me.

No.

I refused to believe it.

But I still couldn't find the words to explain what I'd found out. I didn't know what it would mean for Kai or the rebellion or the somewhat truce Nadia and I had come to.

Since Kinsley had always been on our list of people to deal with, it wasn't like this was a new issue. But Kai...The two of them together. This had to be something Caine orchestrated. Kai would never marry her willingly. Even with him sending me away, I couldn't come to terms with the idea that he might have really wanted me gone.

Was it possible that he really did want to be king? He'd told me that he didn't want it—didn't want the crown. But he'd also lied about so many things. And he knew that it wasn't what I wanted.

Even when I'd told him that I wanted to take the throne, he'd known it wasn't truly what I wanted for myself. He'd always been able to see right through me. Had he sent me away because he'd wanted to rule and he knew he couldn't do that with me? Had I been his initial plan? Was Kinsley just an easy replacement for queen?

Don't come back.

Had he chosen her instead?

No, I didn't believe that. I couldn't let myself believe it.

So, even though I desperately wanted to talk to someone about these new worries, I didn't say anything to anyone. My fears would not necessarily align with my friends. We were likely to argue about it. And I didn't have the energy to fight that battle again. Not with the image of Kinsley and Kai together.

Not when he could be sharing a bed with her. Naked. With or without his consent.

Goddess.

So, the morning didn't bloom brighter and things did not seem better. But I did my best to pretend like things were fine. I kept myself busy tending the fire and playing cards with some of the soldiers. They introduced themselves one by one, and I should have worked harder to remember their faces and their names, but I didn't.

Fleeting.

This was fleeting.

And I was afraid to lose anyone else.

I thought it was better if these people stayed strangers. One less heartbreak.

Birk visited early, before the shop had opened. I'd sat with him and ate the scrambled eggs and ham Mim had made for us. Most everyone else had still be asleep. But not me. And not Birk.