The Reckless Reign (Book 3, The Culled Crown Series)

Chapter 18

Palace Bedroom.
Oredison Palace, Gazda.
The afternoon of the
Commencement Ball.

I collapsed into bed as soon as I arrived back in my room. The conversations with Isla and Harper had left me with a lot to think about. I was overwhelmed and the one thing I'd wanted—to see Kai and talk to him about last night—hadn't actually happened. Now that it was past noon and I knew it would be impossible to see him. Caine would have already tracked him down. He'd been in meetings or being prepared for tonight.

I should have probably been preparing for the ball too.

Soon, the palace would be awash of excitement and new people. I didn't know exactly what Caine had planned of the Commencement Ball, but if it was anything like the first one, it would be loud and busy. There would be champagne and music and platters of food. Reporters would snap pictures. People would stare.

I wondered if I'd get time with Kai tonight.

Last time, part of the ball had been taken up by the goddess-touched girls announcing their Culling courts. Afterward, we'd each had a turn to dance with Cohen. This time around, we didn't have courts or advisors, we would be on our own. We'd have no guidances, no one else who would die alongside us should we fail in our trials.

But that wasn't the only change. The prize of winning the Culling wasn't Cohen anymore. Now, whoever won would end up married to Kai. And while Caine may not want me to have time alone with the king, I doubted he would miss any opportunity to show off his nephew—especially not when he was working so hard to get everyone to believe everything was normal. The Erydian people might find it strange if their new king didn't speak to any of the Culling contestants. After all, one of us would be his queen.

While I wasn't keen on dancing, I hoped I'd get at least a song's-worth of alone time with Kai. I wanted to tell him about what had happened with Isla and Harper today. Thinking back on the first conversation, I found that I was so overwhelmed by Harper's words that it was difficult to remember exactly what I'd said to Isla. But the hope that she might try to help me—might provide an escape for my friends—was enough to fill me with some small shred of hope.

As for what Harper had said...that spurred completely different emotions. Confusion and anger, mostly. She'd spoken as if I was dumb as if I had no idea what was actually going on. And maybe she was right. I'd thought that the Culled was over, done with. As far as I was concerned, the rebellion had never been real.

It had all been a sham.

But maybe I was wrong.

My life was in a perpetual state of trying to make sense of things that I didn't understand—the Vaylish the guards spoke, Caine's uncomfortable advances, Kai's past decisions, my own mistakes. Why should I be surprised to find out that there were more things that didn't make complete sense?

And honestly—if there were other rebels, different people still fighting to end the reign of tyrannical rulers, lower taxes, end the Culling, and break down the barriers keeping so many of us in poverty—how could I hate those things? They were what I'd wanted from a rebellion. Those things were what I'd believed the Culled stood for. It's why my brother, Ambrose, joined the Culled to begin with.

But the thought of joining another cause, even one that seemed like what I'd wanted to begin with, filled me with a deep sense of exhaustion. I couldn't imagine doing it all again. I couldn't imagine putting my heart into anything else. I'd trusted Kai. I'd trusted the Culled and it had led to Uri's death. Now I just wanted it all to be over.

Even so, I found that I couldn't stop thinking about what Harper had said. There were others. She'd said there were people everywhere. All of them waiting. They hadn't lost hope. To them, the rebellion wasn't over yet.