Still Dreaming - Treebros

Chapter 1: "Be My Baby"

Friday, August 23rd

It feels like an overstatement to say that every day is like a never-ending nightmare.

I shouldn't get to say that. That's reserved for parents of missing children, for people who've survived horrific tragedies. I'm just a heartbroken teenager.

But I do feel like I'm living in a dream. That it can't be real.

A year ago, the name Connor Murphy didn't really mean anything to me. The reserved kid who always sat at the back of the class. The boy who defended me after getting pushed. One of the many people Jared made rude jokes about.

Now, my heart beats faster in my hollowed out chest every time I think of him. My friend. My best friend. My ex-boyfriend.

The ex-boyfriend who I'm meeting in a few minutes to help move into our dorms.

He texted me a few days ago. Apparently he got a hotel near the university a couple nights ago to get a lay of the town. Talking to him was bittersweet, but mostly bitter. He has a new car and a new phone. At least he doesn't have a new boyfriend. Still, talking to him felt unfamiliar. Like I'd never actually met him.

But now I'm about to.

"Bye Mom," I say for the fifth time, finally slamming the car door closed. We've been parked outside the residence hall for like 20 minutes now. The boxes are all stacked together on a few trolleys and Connor's supposed to show up soon.

"Do you have your toothbrush?" Mom asks, opening her door to ask me.

"Yes. I have like 5 backup toothbrushes too," I groan. She hasn't stopped talking the entire car-ride here. That's my fault. After this summer, I know she's terrified to leave me alone.

"And enough toothpaste?"

"I have enough toothpaste," I sigh.

"What about a shower caddy? It's hard to carry all your stuff to the shower and back, you know," she rambles, tapping her fingers against the roof of the car. I know she's scared but I don't need to be babied.

"Yes Mom."

"And shower shoes! I don't want you getting any diseases!"

"Yes Mom."

"Do you have enough forks?"

"Mom, you're gonna be late. It's like a 40 minute drive," I say. The last thing I want is for Connor to see my mom being a total mother hen after we see each other for the first time in months.

"It's only 30 minutes. Are you trying to get rid of me?" Mom asks. It took her long enough,

"Yes! I'm meeting with Connor any second now!" I exclaim. I thought it was obvious that I was trying to get rid of her.

"Oh... good luck," she says. She knows what happened. She found me sobbing in my room when she came home and I told her everything. Everything except the tree and Ty.

"Thanks. I love you." I do. I may seem frustrated, but I really do love her.

"I love you too. So much. Please call me if you need anything," she begs. She knows that I probably won't, but I nod.