Still Dreaming - Treebros

Chapter 7: "Falling Into Familiarity"

Friday, September 13th

  Trying to prove people wrong isn't one of my most notable qualities. I don't live to spite people. But Sam's comment about finding hobbies if I tried stuck with me, leading me to sit hunched over my computer searching for hobbies to try.

Turns out, a lot of things are a lot more expensive than I thought.

Right now my list of possibilities includes working out since everyone and their mom seem to do it, gardening, trying my hand at knitting again, origami, collecting something small like buttons, puzzles, and trivia. Carpentry sounds interesting, but it's expensive.

The more I look, the more desperate I get. I don't really feel like trying to get into any of them. I just want to be good at them and be able to do it. Maybe I'll ask Noelle about the puzzles thing. She mentioned she really likes them. Or even break down and ask Charlie about nail art. Anything.

"Benji, please, we both know that we-" On instinct, I slam my computer shut as I hear a loud, unmistakable voice grow nearer. Definitely Sam. Though I've never heard him sound this angry before.

"That we what, Samuel? That we didn't mean anything to each other?!" This one I don't recognize. I assume it's Benji, however. I've heard something's about him, but nothing from Sam.

"That we weren't going anywhere! I just can't see myself having a future with you," Sam answers. They've stopped outside the door. Do they know I'm here? Do they know that they're really, really loud?

"So this past year was just for fun?" Benji yells. My chest curdles with embarrassment, like when you watch something awkward on TV.

"We had good times, Benji. Let's just leave it at that," Sam shouts, equally as loud. This sounds an awful lot like a breakup. As someone with first hand experience, I think I'm qualified to say that.

"Fuck you. You meant everything to me and you just- fuck you," Benji says, his volume rapidly decreasing. His voice breaks on the last word and then everything goes silent.

I almost want to check and see if maybe they've killed each other, when the door opens and Sam steps in, rubbing his eyes. He's always seemed so bright, but right now he just looks like a tired man.

That doesn't stop my heart from doing the stupid thing where it beats faster and I feel almost a little dizzy. It's been happening ever since I met Sam, but now it's getting worse and every time I see him and I feel like smiling but I don't want to be creepy and I kind of hate it and kind of love it.

The floor creaks under him, and his head snaps up. His face drops when he sees me. "Did you hear that?"

"I think Connor heard that," I say. I think my mom heard that. Fuck, I think my dad even heard that.

"Isn't he in class right- oh. Yeah," Sam sighs, realizing the joke halfway through his sentence.

"That wasn't a hyperbole. He doesn't have classes on Fridays, I think he actually heard that," I say. I wasn't kidding. The walls in this place aren't fantastic, and he's only a floor below us.

"Oh. Nice," Sam says, shaking his head and collapsing onto his bed. I had always gotten the feeling that Sam wasn't really invested in the relationship, but he doesn't look happy to have ended it.

"So I take it that it didn't go as well as you had hoped?" I ask.

"Turns out approaching him right after he leaves class and telling him that I'm breaking up with him isn't a good idea," he says, and I let out a low 'ooh'. I don't know what he was thinking but that was definitely not the right move.