Mercy *Obi x OC* (COMPLETE)

Save Yourself

Save Yourself - My Darkest Days

After breakfast, despite Obi's arguing, he let me wash the dishes. I felt bad not doing anything and thanks to Threil my automatic reaction to any sort of disarray is to clean it. I wouldn't admit it aloud, but standing at the counter hurt. I should really thank him for saving me and for allowing me to stay in his home. There's still the chance that he's going to end up being a psychopath but still... He's been helpful for the moment. I wish I understood his fascination with my ring as well. Even after he dismissed his curiosity as it just being a nice ring, I noticed his gaze lingering at my throat. I wish to know why I have the weird feeling about him too. There are so many unanswered questions in my life. I can't even talk to Obi about any of it even if I wanted to because shortly after I finished the dishes and he helped me settle back on the bed, he told me that he had to take care of some things and would be back before nightfall. For now, I'm left alone in an unfamiliar cottage completely defenseless while Threil is alive somewhere potentially nearby. Obi never told me where we were but I highly doubt Obi carried me across Clarines or across the border into Tanbarun in the dead of night.

I'm going to be a burden on Obi. He didn't ask for me to come crashing into his life, literally. I don't know anything about him and he knows nothing of me. I'm useless in this condition anyway. How did I let myself become so weak and useless? Just two nights ago I was murdering a man in his sleep like it was nothing but throw in Threil as my opponent and I'm a damn rabbit fleeing from a fox. Perhaps I should just get out of here and find somewhere else to go. I'd go after Threil and give him the wonderful death he so rightly deserves, but I know in this condition even if I could attack him, I'd lose almost instantly. I go to stand but the room spins so I accept my temporary defeat and lie back again. If I feel better before Obi returns, I'll leave. If I can't get up still, then I guess I'm trapped until I feel better... This sucks.

Perhaps I should die. I mean, it's been an off and on goal for me for years. Threil was the main thing that kept me from achieving it so now that I'm free from him, I should be clear to do it, right? Would that make me feel better? I know there'd be less physical pain, but what lies beyond the mortal realm? I have no idea. There could be the Heaven that a book I'd stolen and hidden from Threil told me about. It mentioned golden streets and a man who created everything. The golden streets made me wonder if the bricks could be pried up and sold. If so, I'd be rich. I'd taken another book that spoke of your life being tracked based on good and bad actions, and if you were good you would be born again into a wonderful, happy new life. If you were bad, you were reborn as something bad or horrible. A man in a bar once rambled about how we just live our lives on an endless loop and once we reach the end of the life cycle, we'd sleep a last time and wake up with no memories and young again. Another man called him stupid and said it was similar, but we would die and be born again in the current year as a new person and all of our old memories are locked away. We would know everyone in the back of our minds, but not as who they are now, but who they were before we died. I'm not sure what to believe. As an assassin, I've done horrible things to people, so if the good or bad rebirth is true, I'd likely be brought back as a pesky fly or a field mouse that gets immediately eaten by a hawk. I'd likely get kicked out of Heaven and sent to the bad place the book spoke of if it were true. With the final two, I don't think I would mind because I wouldn't remember Threil and it would actually explain the weird tugging feeling and my lack of memory, but it would just risk that Threil would find me again as new people. I wonder what Obi believes? I'll ask when he gets back, because I feel increasingly ill.

Death approaches. The end is near. Doors are opening around the cottage and it's either Obi and I'll simply die from vomiting so much or it's Threil and he'll put me out of my misery. My peace in the bedroom only lasted for a few hours before the nausea became too much and I managed to shuffle into the bathroom before vomiting. I haven't left the room since and I'm absolutely drenched in sweat and trembling. I've never been ill like this before. What is wrong with me?

"Elydia?"

"Go away Obi, I'm dying in the floor." I call out before another wave hits me.

"I'm coming in."

I feel my hair being gently tugged from my grip a few seconds later and another hand rubbing my back soothingly. My stomach feels like I've been stabbed and I can't stop shaking and vomiting. Am I really dying? That would fulfill my wishes I suppose; I just wish that it wasn't such a terrible way to die. It finally stops so I rest my head against the wall. I meet his concerned gaze and arch a brow.

"What? Never seen a woman dying before?"

"I'm going to ask you something and you have to answer me truthfully no matter what, alright?"

"No, I'm not pregnant." I sigh.

"Not what I was going to ask, but good to know... Elydia, are you using opium?"