Memory

10 - The Last Chapter

It had been two weeks since Grandma died. Memory was devastated. The pain she felt in her heart was unimaginable.

Even though they knew that Grandma was in critical condition, her death shocked everyone in her family. Since Mom, Daddy, and Memory were still in quarantine, they could not go to the hospital to see Grandma. Memory did not get the chance to say goodbye. That was the worse pain in the world if death did not hold that title.

Per Grandma's last wishes, Uncle Tommy had her cremated rather than a funeral. He decided to host a small get-together at his lake house to commemorate or pay tribute to Grandma. He wanted Mom and Memory to be there, so he waited for their quarantine to be over before he planned everything out. Mom told Memory that if she wanted to, she could invite Derrick to go with them as well.

For a brief moment, Memory smiled at the thought of seeing Derrick again. Once she learned of Grandma's passing, she immediately called him. After that, he called every day to check on her, trying to make her feel better and lift her spirits. Knowing he was there for her if she needed him to be helped the healing process tremendously. It was because of him that she stopped crying herself to sleep every night. However, even Derrick could not heal her heart completely.

The day had arrived for them to go to the ceremony. Memory had on a nice shirt and black pants. Around her neck was a necklace given to her by Grandma when she was little. A small cross made up of what looked to be beautiful white flowers was held by a silver chain. It was dirty and worn from years of her wearing it, but she had not taken it off for two weeks. Mom had on a similar outfit to Memory's, and Daddy wore his work clothes.

They picked up Derrick from his house and went to Uncle Tommy's lake house. There were already a bunch of cars, and many more people had gathered inside. Most of them she recognized, such as her cousins and even Grandma's best friend, Ms. Ivy.

Memory did not want to mingle with her family. Many of them came up to ask her questions, like how she had been or who Derrick was, or to offer their condolences. But she wanted to hide away from it all. So she took Derrick by the hand and led him out on the balcony once it became too overwhelming for her.

"I'm sorry, I had to get away from all that," Memory stated once they were alone.

"It's okay, love. At least you get to see your family," Derrick muttered. "I can't remember the last time I saw mine."

Memory did not know how to respond. It felt as if they sat in silence for an hour, but it was only a few minutes. During that time, Memory stared up at the stars, watching them blink and glisten in the sky. One of them, she noticed, looked as if it were two different colors. At one point it would be red, the coolest color, and at another point it would be blue, the hottest. It was as if two stars were dancing with each other.

Derrick had wrapped his arms around Memory and hugged her close to him. She did the same, still watching the star of two colors in the sky. He began kissing her, first on her forehead and making his way down to her neck. As much as she would have liked this moment, it was not the place nor the time for it.

"Derrick, stop," Memory insisted, pushing him away from her.

"Why? You always like it when I kiss your neck. And we haven't seen each other in so long," Derrick's voice dropped to a whisper level as he leaned in for another kiss.

"I said, stop! Normally, yes, I would like it. But we are at my Uncle's house. At any minute he will be walking out here with the rest of my family for the ceremony. What would my parents think if they saw us together like this? I don't even want to think about that." Memory started pacing next to Derrick as she continued. "I can't believe you would attempt it either. My grandmother just died, and I blame myself for it! If we hadn't gone out to lunch that day then none of this would have happened. You know what, I blame my parents, too, for it. Especially, my mom. I want to hate her so bad for what happened but I can't because I am too wrapped up in my grief. I couldn't even say goodbye to her! All because of stupid quarantine and Covid. Screw you, Covid!

"On top of it all, I haven't talked to any of my friends in weeks. I have no idea what they are up to or what they are doing. I want to text them, especially Devin, but I don't have anything to say. I doubt they do either or they would have texted. I haven't felt this alone in so long. Even quarantine last year was better than this."

Memory fell to the ground, silent tears falling down her face. She felt weak. All of the anger and pain that she felt over the last few weeks came rushing out of her. She did not want to tell Derrick about it; instead, she wanted to keep it inside. It hurt her more to her feelings keep locked inside, as she was during quarantine, than to let it all out.

For a moment, Derrick just stood there with no expression on his face. Without saying a word, he went over to Memory and helped her to her feet. He took his hands and cupped her face to make her look at him, wiping her tears away. There was a gentleness in his eyes, which told Memory to relax, so she did.

"First off, I'm sorry. What I did was inappropriate. Second, you are not alone. You still have me, and our entire friend group. Devin, Zac, Maya, Ashlynn, Ian, and Teagan. We aren't going anywhere. And last, please do not keep your feelings inside like that. You are only going to hurt yourself by doing that. I don't want you to blow at one of your parents or someone who may not understand completely. Promise?"

Memory nodded her head. They stayed outside for a while longer until it was time for the ceremony. They went back inside and listened to Uncle Tommy's speech.

"I want to thank everyone for being here today. It means a lot to my sisters and me. I would like to start by telling everyone what kind of person Mom was. Growing up, it was my sisters, Willow and Diane, who were close to Mom. I was closer to Dad since I was the only son in the house. We would watch TV if football was on or the news if there were no games. Mom would be in the kitchen, cooking whatever she felt like cooking that day. Mom was a great cook. All of her food tasted incredible. Especially her marble brownies. They were the best brownies you had ever tasted.

"She was so loving to us, too. She would always ask us how our friends were doing or what we did in school that day. After Dad had died, Mom wasn't the same. We were already out of the house. Diane had just gotten married and Willow and I were in college. Mom had stopped calling and checking in so much. We worried about her.

"She became more involved in my niece's and nephews' lives once they were born. She spoiled the heck out of them. She was happy to have grandchildren and loved every moment she had with them. She especially loved spending time with Memory, since she is the oldest."

Uncle Tommy paused for a moment. Looking at the table behind him, he grabbed a notebook and walked to where Memory stood with Derrick and her parents. "Mom would have wanted you to have this, Memory. She knew that you had been going through a lot with quarantine and thought that this would help."

Walking back to where he stood before, he announced that they were now going to go outside onto the balcony and finish the ceremony. "My mother wanted to be cremated and have her ashes dumped into the ocean. I could not have that done for her, so I made the decision, alongside my sisters, to dump her ashes here into Lake Tahoe. I think she would have liked this more."

Memory watched as Grandma's ashes fell out of the urn and into the lake. She clutched the notebook in her hand, and for the first time since Grandma's death, Memory did not cry. Looking down at the notebook, she noticed how the leather binding was still in good condition, even though it looked pretty old. Grandma had clearly taken care of it after all of the time she had kept it. It did not look to have been used though. Leaving her place where she stood on the balcony, Memory went inside and sat down on the sofa in the living room. Untying the leather rope bound around the journal, she opened it and began writing with the pen it came with.

"In a world full of hate, Be A Light."