The philosophy of my thoughts

Gods mercy

I want to tell you everything that happened today, 

I wanna show you everything that happened today

 I want to tell you how I shined upon that stage like the flower I am and how I left people gawking and watching hoping to see that I would notice their screams

Little did they know I would be screaming in horror later, 

I found myself trapped between a world that I hated and loved

I found myself crying in my bathroom as I tried to scrape off my skin, why did he do that?

Why did he touch me like that, my innocent and pure body

Why did he find himself at such a place of power where he could have touched and grazed my body, pushing me further with his firm grip hitting me from behind with his weapon of destruction. 

I found myself looking for anything and anyone I just want to be wrapped around like I was hidden inside a cocoon

 I wanted to leave, float and let my toes wrap around a greener and healthier grass, I wanted my hands to touch the fresh and cold yet warm water as you laid beside me with your long  hair flowing inside our river of hopes and dreams we are hoping to reach.

I want to call, I want to talk but all my mind travels to is being hurt and attacked in a way that left me now laying down on my bed numb as my pillow swims with my feelings oozing out of me. 

Scared I feel,

 I feel scared, 

scared 

and alone 

and all I want to do is hide my face in my bed and cry for God to mercy me.

-A.S.I