Before I Forget.

s i x

[taylor]

I walked into the house with fistfuls of grocery bags, the first thing I met with being Mick and Sid both latched on a suitcase tugging it back and forth. I maneuvered through them and saw Craig and Jim bring a couple more bags upstairs. "Is Joe home" I asked hopefully. "Yeah he's in the shower." Chris answered sitting down on the couch with a bag of chips I had just gotten.
I dropped the rest of the bags and ran upstairs and stopped at the bathroom door. I slowly and opened the door, he was in nothing but a pair of basketball shorts. I smiled when I noticed he was singing. "When'd you get here?" I asked as I swung the door open abruptly and Joey shrieked. "Corey you dickface!" He yelled as I laughed at his dramatic reaction. Joey rolled his eyes at me and went back to drying himself off. "Oh I see how it is." I said moving closer to Joey who was fighting not to smile. I studied his small, pale frame. He was so skinny but he had always been that way, I mean the kid could eat a whole pizza and then some and not gain a pound. "No 'good to see you, Corey'? or maybe a hug?" Joey shook his head smiling a little and I wrapped my arms around his small waist. "I missed you." Joey said and I muttered that I missed him too.
    My eyes trailed down to his arms, they were plastered with scars. Most were old and faded, some were pink and healing, and some were fresh. Probably not even a days old. I frowned and sighed, "Joe...why the hell do you do this to yourself." I said studying the long ragged scars that trailed up both of his wrists that reminded us of that night. They were still tainted pink. He stayed silent. "Joey." I repeated louder to get his attention. "Corey, please don't." Joey said annoyance lacing his voice. "No." I said firmly which threw Joey off his guard. Usually when this topic was brought up between Joey and I he would ignore it or ask me to stop, and I would. But not this time. "You can't keep ignoring this." I stepped toward him and put a hand on his bare shoulder which he quickly shook off. Joey faced me, "I'm not ignoring anything." He scoffed and I rolled my eyes. "Right." I said sarcastically "And I have a million dollars in my back pocket." There was a moment of quiet.
    "Whatever." Joey pushed past me and walked out the bathroom. "Jesus Christ Joe!" I grabbed his arm to prevent him from walking any further. "You're not gonna fucking walk away from me!" He spun around and his eyes met mine. A flash of fear was quickly replaced with anger as he ripped his arm from my grip. "You're such a fucking hypocrite, Corey! How to fuck are you gonna yell at me for doing it when we know damn well you do it too!?" Joey spat. I stood shocked for a moment, Joey rarely ever yelled like that. "Yeah well I'm not the one who tried to kill himself am I?" I regretted the words as soon as they fell out of my mouth. The black haired man stood in front of me with a hurt expression on his face. "Fuck you." Joey choked out before he pushed past me and went to his room, slamming the door.
Shit, shit, SHIT! What the fuck did I just do? Jesus Corey you're so fucking stupid sometimes! I felt the stares of the other guys and turned around slowly, sighing. "Smooth Taylor, real fucking smooth." Jim said crossing his long arms over his chest. I put my head in my hands not wanting to see the disappointment (and probably anger) I know was plastered on his and the other guys faces. "We can't keep letting Joey just ignore what happened! How the hell is he gonna get any better if he doesn't talk about it!?" I took my head out of my hands and looked around at the faces surrounding me. "Corey we all cope in different ways." Paul said calmly, "Joeys right anyways, you can't get pissed at him for doing the same thing you do. And by the way you aren't too vocal about your problems." Paul was right, well half right, I didn't like to talk about the personal shit that went on in my life but I didn't self harm anymore. "I don't do that stuff anymore, you know, self harm. I stopped after what happened with Joe..." I trailed off trying not to let that night seep into my head.
"Tell him that." Paul replied, the guys agreed with him. "And apologize too." Jim said. At that I turned around and made my way up to Joeys room, hoping he would forgive me.

i don't know how to feel about this chapter >:( i wrote it kinda fast soooo